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Comedy (V)
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★ Comedy (V)

Holly and I are like Romeo and Juliet, and the office is like the dragon that kept them apart.  The Office US s7e16: PDA, Michael  

 

Public Displays of Affection, or PDAs.  ibid.  Holly

 

 

I am a huge Woody Allen fan, although I’ve only seen Antz.  But I’ll tell you something.  What I respect most about that man is that when was going through that stuff from the press that said Antz was basically a rip-off of Bug’s Life, he stood true to his films, or at least the one I saw, which again is Antz.  The thing is, I thought Bug’s Life was better.  Much better than Antz.  Point is, don’t listen to your critics.  Listen to your fans.  The Office US s7e17: Threat Level Midnight, Michael

 

 

I had shirts in five different women’s houses.  The Office US s7e18: Todd Packer, Todd to Michael

 

Packer is back!  ibid.  

 

Packer’s going to be here till the day he dies just like the rest of us.  ibid.

 

 

Michael – you’ve had two ideas today.  The Office US s7e19: Garage Sale, Pam

 

 

Michael, the last time I was exposed to a peanut I was itchy for three days, OK?  I had to take baths constantly.  I missed the O J verdict.  I had to read about it in the paper like an idiot.  The Office US s7e20: Training Day, Deangelo  

 

 

The Dundies are my babies and they need to go on.  The Office US s7e21: Michael’s Last Dundies, Michael

 

Where were you on September 11th?  ibid.  DeAngelo

 

 

OK, no salami in the pants.  How about a Peperami?  The Office US s7e22: Goodbye Michael, Michael to Dwight      

 

You sold us all on Andy, a product nobody wanted.  ibid.  

 

There’s not enough time in the day to have a special moment with everyone.  ibid.

 

What a great boss you turned out to be.  The best boss I ever had.  ibid.  Jim  

 

 

Andy: Oh, there’s an inner circle.  Oh yeah.

 

Jim: There is no inner circle.  Deangelo just prefers to delegate a few things to a few guys.

 

Kevin: Jim only says that because he’s in the inner circle.  I also say that because I am also in the inner circle.  Did you get that, Ma?  Your boy, Kevin Malone, is IN the inner circle!  Which doesn’t exist.  The Office US s7e23: Inner Circle

 

 

Nor will you foment insurrection.  The Office US s7e24: Dwight K Schrute (Acting Manager), Dwight

 

You’re pre-fired.  ibid.  Dwight

 

 

Basically everything is falling apart here.  The Office US s7e25&26: Search Committee, Creed

 

Video: Name: David Brent.  Occupation: Inspirer.  Status: None of your business ... When do I start?  ibid.        

 

Zen Office – thought of that?  ibid.  Nellie

 

I will run this branch or I will destroy this branch.  ibid.  Dwight

 

 

Hey, Robert, we have that 9.30 a.m. casual chit-chat scheduled.  The Office US s8e1: The List, Andy

 

 

How’s the sales doubling project going?  The Office US s8e2: The Incentive, Andy  

 

You give us points and then we redeem those points for prizes.  ibid.  Pam  

 

 

Until we have a new crew let’s get some volunteers for warehouse duty.  The Office US s8e3: Lotto, Andy

 

 

It’s not a picnic, Phyllis; it’s a garden party.  The Office US s8e4: Garden Party   

 

 

Every Halloween I tell them the same thing: you can’t bring weapons into the office.  The Office US s8e5: Spooked, Toby

 

 

Simply end the mistakes.  The Office US s8e6: Doomsday, Robert to Andy

 

 

It’s one of the most common fetishes.  The Office US s8e7: Pam’s Replacement, Gabe to pregnant Pam  

 

 

I am a leader: but you can only inspire people so much in a place like this.  The Office US s8e8: Gettysburg, Andy

 

 

No, I don’t think we should be trying to make this place seem unpleasant.  I think we should let this place crush her spirit by itself.  The Office US s8e9: Mrs California, Jim, re new starter

 

 

Dwight: What about my wish that we don’t have to attend meetings that degrade our sense of adulthood?

 

Andy: That I cannot do, but I did get you an acre of property on the moon.

 

Dwight: Where?  Dark side or light side?

 

Andy: Light side.

 

Dwight: Is it by the Sea of Tranquillity?

 

Andy: As a matter of fact, yes.  Directly adjacent.  Beachfront.

 

Dwight: Thank you, Andy.  The Office US s8e10: Christmas Wishes

 

 

Let’s get high on our own supply.  The Office US s8e11: Trivia, Andy

 

 

I always thought of her [Erin] as a second Meredith.  The Office US s8e12: Pool Party, Dwight to Andy

 

 

I love maternity wards.  It’s the perfect blend of love and horror.  The Office US s8e13: Jury Duty, Gabe

 

 

My first task as Special Project manager Dwight Schrute  assembling a crack team.  The Office US s8e14: Special Project  

 

Because I feel like I’m in a place with my gambling rehab that I can finally start going to dog racing again.  ibid.    

 

 

So stop looking at my breasts and start looking at my penis.  The Office US s8e15: Tallahassee, Nellie

 

 

We managed to fill forty hours somehow.  The Office US s8e16: After Hours, Nellie  

 

A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present.  ibid.  Dwight to Nellie

 

 

I came from dirt, no lower … what’s lower than dirt?  The Office US s8e17: Test the Store

 

Begging For Mercy.  ibid.  Toby’s self-defence seminar  

 

 

When can I introduce you to my grandson?  He’s a wonderful swimmer.  Shallow end, deep end, he does it all.  The Office US 8e18: Last Day in Florida, old lady to Erin  

 

 

Look at this place.  Five rooms and I get to clean them all.  The Office US s8e19: Get the Girl, Erin

  

 

Excuse me, the tone here is getting quite hostile.  The Office US s8e20: Welcome Party, Nellie   

 

 

I never allow sexual desire to influence a business decision … Buffet operates the same way.  The Office US s8e21: Angry Andy, Robert  

 

 

It is going to be a who’s-who of the northern 22nd district.  The Office US s8e22: Fundraiser, Angela  

 

 

Here we go, everybody.  May the manliest man win.  The Office US s8e23: Turf War, Jim  

 

That’s why I am giving you the key to my house.  ibid.  Andy’s sales call

 

 

What’s more precious to people than muffins?  The Office US s8e24: Free Family Portrait Studio, Dwight

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