Well we’ve been eagerly awaiting this match. Even though it’s likely to be a test for the commentators. It’s Samuel Wallace against Pipi Popstopolous. I have to say that this match hasn’t quite caught fire yet. Big Train s1e5
Let’s face it. You can’t cut it in the real world. Join the Army. ibid.
Well here we are. We’re all set. It’s a capacity crowd. And we’re ready for the World Championship Stareout final. Joining me in the commentary box is David Johnson. Hello, David. Big Train s1e6
He really does eat, drink and breathe staring. ibid.
Well, John, he’ll be digging very deep at the moment. ibid.
This worrying problem of drugs in the game. ibid.
Don’t fire me please. I ’m committed to cakes. Big Train s2e1, BBC 2002
Are you a duck? Well fuck off then. ibid. bird sanctuary
Ken Morse is still Britain’s leading Rostrum cameraman. Big Train s2e2
You will take a dive in the seventh and that’s an end to it. ibid. Mother to Jenny
The Beefeaters. Have you got what it takes? Big Train s2e3, mock Army recruiting advertisement
[Boyfriend answers front door bell]: Hiya, great to see ya. Come in, come in. Mikaela’s dying to meet you. Matt and Rachael, here she is Mikaela. This is Matt and Rachel. This is Mikaela.
[Mermaid in front-room paddling pool, in broad northern accent]: Hi-ha. You all right? Big Train s2e4
Morphine: Available from Pharmacists Throughout Great Britain and the Empire. Big Train s2e5, silent-film cinema advertisement
News interviewer amid World War II London rubble: Mrs Jenkins, bombs have fallen here for the last three nights. How to you think we should respond to Herr Hitler?
Mrs Jenkins: Well we can’t take much more of this. I think we should surrender and the sooner the better. Big Train s2e6
… Well, there you have it. Despite the persistent bombing British resolve is as great as ever. And Her Majesty is clear: London can take it. ibid.