ID badges are long overdue. The Office US s2e21: Conflict Resolution, Dwight
With win-win-win we all win. ibid. Michael
Cage matches – they work; how can they not work? ibid.
I’m a roulette expert. The Office US: s2e22: Casino Night, Pam
Mike, I am not having fire-eaters in a paper warehouse. ibid. Darryl
Toby: He’s attracted to other men.
Michael: OK. A little too far. Crossed the line. The Office US s3e1: Gay Witch Hunt
You don’t call retarded people retards. ibid. Michael
I want you to look into how much a little Chinese baby would cost. The Office US s3e2: The Convention
Did you hear? Pam’s back on the market again. ibid. Kevin
Movie Monday started with training videos. The Office US s3e3: The Coup, Pam
I want the branch. ibid. Dwight to Jan
I’ll be in my office in case anyone wants to drop by and cheer me up. The Office US s3e4: Grief Counseling
Today at 4 p.m. we will be meeting in the parking lot to have a funeral for this bird. ibid.
Never ever ever sleep with your boss. I am so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base. The Office US s3e5: Initiation
And just as you have planted your seed in the ground I am going to plant my seed in you. ibid. Dwight to Ryan down on the farm
Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do, sign me up. The Office US s3e6: Diwali, Michael
I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch. The Office US s3e7: Branch Closing, Jan
It’s over. We are screwed. ibid. Michael
I am not going to take this lying down. ibid.
I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther. The Office US s3e8: The Merger, Dwight
You are very exotic looking. Was your dad a GI? ibid. Michael to new female arrival
People hate people who are different from them. That’s natural. ibid. Michael
Dwight may have won the battle but I will win … the next battle. ibid. Andy
Why did the convict have to be the black guy? It’s such a stereotype. The Office US s3e9: The Convict, Michael
I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day. ibid.
We Schrutes use every part of the goose. The Office US s3e10&11: Benihana Christmas, Dwight
Michael: Carol, you walk out that door and it’s over.
Carol: I know. ibid.
You are not as much fun as your Jamaican brothers, mon. The Office US s3e12: Back from Vacation, Michael to Stanley
That’s all I’m going to say … Sex … We had sex. ibid. Michael
My psychiatrist thinks that I have some self-destructive tendencies. ibid. Jan to Michael
Well guess what, I’m not falling in a chocolate river. The Office US s3e13: Travelling Vacation, Andy
You know what they say – Fool me once, strike one. ibid. Michael
How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working alpha-male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable. The Office US s3e14: The Return, Dwight’s job interview
I think we should celebrate Oscar’s Mexicanity. ibid. Michael
This may be Phyllis’s only wedding ever. The Office US s3e15: Ben Franklin, Michael
Me! I want some man meat. ibid. Dwight, re Michael’s barbecue
102,944. It’s a big day for Phyllis, but it’s an even bigger day for me – employer of the bride. The Office US s3e16: Phyllis’ Wedding
A boss is like a teacher – and I am like the cool teacher. The Office US s3e17, Business School, Michael
You cannot learn from books. ibid.
Real business is done on paper. ibid.
I am taking a calculated risk. What’s the upside? I overcome my nausea … No more self-loathing … The Office US s3e18: Cocktails, Jan
I run a fake ID company … ibid. Creed
Michael, last Friday one of your employees attacked another employee in your office. The Office US s3e19: The Negotiation, Jan
Are you wearing lady-clothes? ibid. Darryl to Michael
I have decided to shun Andy for the next three years which I am looking forward to. The Office US s3e20: Safety Training, Dwight
We have a crisis. Apparently a disgruntled employee at the paper mill decided it would be funny to put an obscene watermark on our 24 pound creme butter-sock. 500 boxes has gone out. The Office US s3e21: Product Recall, Michael
When the company screws up, best thing to do is call a press conference. ibid.
If that’s flashing, then lock me up. The Office US s3e22: Women’s Appreciation, Creed
Oh come on, we were laughing at Phyllis but she’s not even here. ibid. Michael
Oscar, you’re wearing a Speedo I presume. The Office US s3e23: Beach Party, Michael
It’s a done deal. I basically have the job already. There’s nothing she can do to stop it now. I already sold my condo. The Office US s3e24&25: The Job, Michael
In my experience guys are way more attracted to the back of you than to the front. ibid. Meredith
One thousand Schrute-bucks equals an extra five minutes for lunch. ibid. Dwight
He [Michael] likes them [enhancements]. And that’s all I care about. ibid. Jan
So who is the real boss? The dog or a fish? The Office US s4e1&2: Fun Run, Michael
European offices are naked all the time. ibid.
He’s a useful cat. He killed an entire family of raccoons. The Office US s4e3&4: Dunder Mifflin Infinity, Dwight & Garbage the cat
New ideas are fine but they are also illegal. ibid. Michael
Buying paper just became fun. The Office US s4e5&6: Launch Party, Ryan
It was a pretty disappointing day. It was kind of a slap in the face to realize that I wasn’t as important as I thought I was to a certain young executive. Who I had cared about. But you know, I’m not going to cry about it. I did that on the way home. ibid. David
Michael, there’s a very big difference between these two pizza places. ibid. Oscar
You will come out when you decide to give me a discount on the pizza. ibid. Michael to pizza delivery boy
There’s only one place to get authentic New York-style sushi. ibid.
Yes, money has been a little tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I’m gonna be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money-wise. The Office US s4e7&8: Money, Michael
Come back any time. Don’t forget to disinfect your headset. ibid. marketing boss to Michael
I am itching all over with Angela pox. ibid. Andy
I’ve always wanted to be in the Witness Protection Program. ibid. Michael