A worm? See how fast that thing was – it’s more like a fucking cobra. Oh my fuck, boys, I have a goddamned pepperoni cobra living in my ’testines. Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series II: The Pepperoni Cobra, Ricky
Ricky, you know you can’t keep a tapeworm as a pet, right? ibid.
Hey, guys, check out these losers … You guys ever going to play in the Weed Cup again? Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series III: The Stanley Bong, Moncton Mudslides player
Let’s have a little party, bud. Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series IV: The Penis Milker, ghost of Mr Lahey to Randy
Lord, bless this schedule and help it guide Randy, Amen. Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series V: Big Ho’s Carwash, Clont
Apparently, my two best friends started an underground gay day spa. ibid. Bubbles interviewed
This reminds me of the hash we smoked with the old man when we was eight when we went fishing. Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series VI: The Three Mustardteers, Ricky
Jacob, you’re going to have to get a fourth job. Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series VII: Satan’s Bastards, Ricky
Well it’s fucking simple. Just use gravity to pull the fuck out of the plants, makes them grow bigger and way the fuck faster. Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series VIII: Space Weed, Ricky’s upside down plants
More than 300 batteries were stolen from cars outside a local movie theatre last night. Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series IX: Hurricane Ricky, television news
Putting on a little concert. It’s gonna be a big sale, karaoke, maybe get some puppets going, and then the big draw of the day – Bubbles and the Shitrockers are gonna headline it. Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series X: Trailerstock, Bubbles
The job of a vampire sommelier is not an easy one. What We Do in the Shadows ***** pilot, Guillermo, BBC 2019
Yes, master. It’s time to – rise. ibid.
We have received a letter. ibid. house meeting with Nandor the Relentless
… curse of eternal life, and thus making me a bloodthirsty creature of the night. ibid. Laszlo re Nadja
The Baron is a firm believer that vampires should rule the world. ibid.
We should get a chariot led by twelve black alligators. ibid. Nadja
What about the Baron’s blood lust? ibid. Nandor
Energy vampires drain people’s energy merely by talking to them. We either bore you with a long conversation or we enrage you. In fact, you probably know an energy vampire. We are the most common kind of vampire. We are day-walkers not affected by the sun. ibid. Colin Robinson
There was a lot of prejudice against vampires at that time. ibid. Nadja
Yes, get me some glitter. Oh, I want to do something special for the Immortal One’s arrival. I’m going to sprinkle it on my face and on my body at twilight. Oh deliciously macabre – creepy paper, creepy paper, creepy – oh multi-pack. ibid. Nandor
Recently, I have been seeing another man. He doesn’t see me though … I think it is my reincarnated boyfriend Gregor … I should be preparing for the blood feast but I can’t seem to stay away from new Gregor. ibid.
It’s like they’re not even here. ibid. Laszlo to Baron, re presence of documentary cameras
Vampires love virgins. It’s their favourite food. What We Do in the Shadows s1e2: City Council ***** Guillermo
The Baron has charged us with the task of taking power over the New World. ibid. Nadja and Laszlo
The Baron’s familiar – she’s so creepy. ibid. Guillermo
We need a plan for total domination. ibid. Nandor
It’s a smorgasborg of banality and despair. ibid. Colin Robinson and gang at Staten Island Council evening session
Greetings, mortals. I will make this quick. I, Nandor the Relentless, Conqueror of thousands, Immortal warrior, who has twice turned the Euphrates itself red with blood, hereby demand complete and total subjugation of this governing body to my command! ibid.
I have recently rediscovered my love for topiary sculpture. The art of bush manipulation. What We Do in the Shadows s1e3: Werewolf Feud, Laszlo
Am I a morning person? That would be an enthusiastic yes. ibid. Colin Robinson
I’ve been all alone since mother died. Talk later? Really? ibid. Evie to Colin Robinson at work
There’s a bloody big werewolf on the lawn. ibid. Nadja
I think there’s something weird about Evie. ibid. Colin Robinson meets emotional vampire at work
Will you stop keep crying on my lawn, please. ibid. Nadja to werewolf gang
Laszlo with finger on map: We have total dominion from here to here.
Nandor: So that’s two streets … What We Do in the Shadows s1e4: Manhattan Night Club
We are going into the city tonight. We are going to party. And dance. And form a power alliance with the Manhattan vampires so that we can crush the humans. No offence. ibid. Nandor
Obviously, being in a marriage for centuries can get boring. And it is in these moments of dissatisfaction that I think about my human ex-lover: Gregor. Oh, he is the most fantastic of men … He has been reincarnated again, and in this life he is called [thinks hard and several attempts at ‘Jeff’] What We Do in the Shadows s1e5: Animal Control, Nadja
They’ve stolen Laszlo. ibid. Nandor
Gregor doesn’t know I’m not human. ibid. Nadja
The reawakened Gregor: Let’s make animalistic freaky sex right now.
Nadja: But somebody else needs me in a much less erotic way. But you know it is what it is. ibid.
Vampires have hidden amongst humans for millennia. There are some in the community that believe that vampires should rule the world. One such person is the Baron. And he has become a massive prick. What We Do in the Shadows s1e6: Baron’s Night Out, Laszlo
He [Baron] is as mad as a waxed banana. ibid.
We drank the blood of some people. But the people were on drugs. Now I’m a wizard. ibid. Nandor
We are gathered here tonight in our backyard to commemorate the second death of the Baron. What We Do in the Shadows s1e7: The Trial, Nandor
The vampiric council is a very ancient organisation. Very powerful and apparently very scary. ibid.
I was Jack the Ripper. I’ve never told anyone that before. ibid. Laszlo
I have given a strange girl the most beautiful gift – the gift of becoming a vampiric blood-sucking creature of the shadows. What We Do in the Shadows s1e8: Citizenship, Nadja
Thank you all for coming to this house meeting. ibid. Nandor
She is a below average vampire. ibid. Nadja
It seems that government workers are immune to hypnotism. ibid.
I didn’t pass … I’m like a little lost duck. ibid. Nandor fails citizenship test
I will rule this world for eternity. ibid. Nandor
Our home has been selected to host the bi-annual vampire orgy. What We Do in the Shadows s1e9: The Orgy
And absorbent towels. Lots of them. ibid. Nandor
And what about the virgins? Have you got any yet? ibid. Nadja to Familiar
My master is going to help me find a virgin. ibid. Familiar
I had your DNA tested. They tested it. What We Do in the Shadows s1e10: Ancestry, Familiar
Becoming a vampire came at a strange time in my life. ibid. Nandor
Yes, witches are semen-stealers. ibid. Nadja