With thee goes
Thy husband, him to follow thou art bound;
Where he abides, think there thy native soil. ibid. XI:290
There can be no disparity in marriage like unsuitability of mind and purpose. Charles Dickens, David Copperfield
I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period. Pat Robertson, founder Christian Coalition
Yes, I do love my husband. I didn’t at first. I didn’t at first for a long time. When I left Darlington Hall all those years ago, I never realized I was really, truly leaving. I believe I thought of it as simply another ruse, Mr Stevens, to annoy you. It was a shock to come out here and find myself actually married. For a long time, I was very unhappy, very unhappy indeed. Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day
You may not have struck her, but you did worse – you treated her with indifference and exposed her to temptation. What has happened is the natural result off your neglect and want of care for her. Robert Tressell, The Ragged Trousered Philanthropist
One was never married, and that’s his hell:
another is, and that’s his plague. Robert Burton
— My brother Toby, quoth she, is going to be married to Mrs Wadman.
— Then he will never, quoth my father, be able to lie diagonally in his bed again as long as he lives. Laurence Sterne, The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman
Princess Shtcherbatskaya … saw that of late years much was changed in the manners of society, that a mother’s duties had become still more difficult. She saw that girls of Kitty’s age formed some sort of clubs, went to some sort of lectures, mixed freely in men’s society; drove about the streets alone, many of them did not curtsey, and, what was the most important thing, all the girls were firmly convinced that to choose their husbands was their own affair, and not their parents’s. “Marriages aren’t made nowadays as they used to be,” was thought and said by all these young girls, and even by their elders. But how marriages were made now, the princess could not learn from any one. The French fashion — of the parents arranging their children’s future — was not accepted; it was condemned. The English fashion of the complete independence of girls was also not accepted, and not possible in Russian society. The Russian fashion of match-making by the offices of intermediate persons was for some reason considered unseemly; it was ridiculed by every one, and by the princess herself. But how girls were to be married, and how parents were to marry them, no one knew. Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina
It’s a hunt that ends in a violent capture. It takes place in a world that has no physical form. Sometimes it’s a bond between not two but three. And it can turn into a licence to kill. Strange Rituals s1e10: Till Death Us Do Part, H2 2016
‘The mid-1980s there suddenly seemed to be a spate of women, young brides, dying of burns. The term dowry death was given to them.’ ibid.
Kyrgyzstan: bride capture – it’s an old tradition that has made a comeback; ever since Kyrgyzstan won its independence from the Soviet Union in 1991 young boys have struggled to claim their manhood in one definitive and sometimes violent act: abducting a girl honours the nomadic traditions of Kyrgyzstan’s ancient past. ibid.
Proposition 8 built a constitutional wall around marriage and excluded gay and lesbians from access to the most important relation in life. The Case Against 8, case in court Theodore Olson, HBO 2014
A fundamental right to pursue happiness is being taken away. ibid.
In 2008 the California Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples had the right to get married. 18,000 same-sex couples were married throughout the state. Six months later, voters passed Proposition 8, a ballot initiative which defined marriage as between one man and one woman in California. A federal lawsuit was filed on behalf of two couples challenging the constitutionality of Proposition 8. ibid. captions
The court sided with the proponents of Prop 8 and blocked the broadcast of the trial. ibid.
This steady stream of hate that came across the phone. ibid. plaintiff
Ted looks up from pizza and says, We won. ibid.
The proponents of Prop 8 appealed to the US Supreme Court. ibid.
It’s another 5-4 vote. ibid.
Don’t you think one of the charms of marriage is it makes deception a necessity for both parties? Eyes Wide Shut 1999 starring Tom Cruise & Nicole Kidman & Sydney Pollack & Marie Richardson & Todd Field & Sky du Mont & Vinessa Shaw & Rade Serbedzija & Fay Masterson & Leelee Sobieski & Alan Cumming & Leon Vitali & Julienne Davis & Thomas Gibson et al, director Stanley Kubrick, Hungarian geezer
Maybe because you’re my wife. Maybe because you’re the mother of my child and I know you would never be unfaithful. ibid.
Women who believe that they were married only to find out that they actually weren’t … The marriages of a high proportion of Muslim couples are not legally recognised. The Truth About Muslim Marriage, Channel 4 2017
‘For the third time. I kind of got used to it by then. Why are we still together? What a question. I dunno. I just think obviously your family’s your family’ innit, you’ve got to like stick by each other through thick and thin. He’s the kid’s dad, and when he is around, he’s good. He’s not around as much as he should be.’ Prisoners’ Wives: Visiting Hour, wife, Channel 5 2019
People ask me, Carol, how do you and Bruce keep the spice in your marriage? Well, I tell them it’s literary simple. I’m just the ultimate tease. Filth 2013 starring James McAvoy & Jamie Bell & Eddie Marsan & Imogen Poots & Brian McCardie & Emun Elliott & Gary Lewis & John Sessions & Shauna Macdonald & Jim Broadbent & Joanne Froggatt et al, director Jon S Baird
Mary, a successful marriage is based on a wife letting her husband lie a little. The Mob 1951 starring Broderick Crawford & Betty Buehler & Richard Kiley & Otto Hulett & Matt Crowley & Neville Brand & Ernest Borgnine & Jean Alexander & John Marley & Charles Bronson & Walter Klavun et al, director Robert Parrish, him to her
I was in Portland, Oregon, exploring a radically different way of looking at love. Polyamory is the practice of pursuing multiple romantic relationships with the consent of all those involved. It promises more emotional and sexual fulfilment but with freedom can come jealousy. Louis Theroux’s Altered States I: Love Without Marriage, BBC 2018
Isn’t that what marriage is about? Accepting your partner’s selfishness. House of Cards s3e6: Chapter 32, US gay rights’ prisoner in Russia, Netflix 2015
How common is this in the United States? How frequently are we marrying off little girls to men? I Was a Child Bride, Elizabeth Vargas reporting, CI 2019
Between 2000-2010 an estimated 248,000 child marriages in the United States. ibid. caption
‘I was forced to marry my rapist at 11.’ ibid. victim
I’m fascinated by modern family life. I want to find out about Britain’s more unusual households. Lifestyles that others might judge … I’m en route to go and meet a polyamorous couple. Stacey Dooley Sleeps Over, W 2019
‘We’ll go on dates, go to parties, and have more short-term experiences.’ ibid. wife
‘Sonita! Sonita! Sonita!’ Storyville: Brides for Sale – Sonita, Sonita raps down with the kids, BBC 2016
How much did they offer as a bridge price? – $3,000. But my dad wants more money. ibid. girl to girl
Girl 1: ‘And worse, he already has a wife and kids.’
Girl 2: ‘You’re lucky; at least they asked you.’
Girl 3: ‘Did you agree nor did they beat you?’
Girl 1: ‘At first, they beat me up. Then I agreed.’ ibid.
‘Can’t you see that I’m just at teen? But he doesn’t answer, just leaves me there.’ ibid. Sonitarap lyrics
This is a story of two places [Thailand & Denmark] at opposite ends of the world tied together by marriages filmed over ten years. Storyville: Fishing for Love: How to Catch a Thai Bride, BBC 2020