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★ Sex

Where is the filthy beast?  [out of window] Ooh come back, you monster!  Come back!  ibid.  Jacques to Williams

 

 

Close your eyes and think of England.  Lady Hillingdon, attributed to 1912 diary entry but diary not found

        

 

Let’s Get It On.  Marvin Gaye

 

 

Apart from humans, only dolphins and chimps have sex for pleasure.  Stuffucanuse online 2007

 

 

What men call gallantry, and gods adultery.

Is much more common where the climate’s sultry.  Lord Byron, Don Juan

 

 

Sex is something I really don’t understand too hot.  You never know where the hell you are.  I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away.  J D Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye, 1951

 

 

The zipless fuck is absolutely pure.  It is free of ulterior motives.  There is no power game.  The man is not ‘taking’ and the woman is not ‘giving’ … The zipless fuck is the purest thing there is.  And it is rarer than the unicorn.  Erica Jong  

 

 

It’s important to embrace to the part of you that likes to embrace money and the part of you that doesn’t give a damn ... I’m happy to sell my services.  Sasha, spokesperson Tantric Sex Centre

 

 

Southern California: a land of unlimited possibilities.  Home to a sub-culture of middle-class couples who embrace all the core values of America except one: monogamy.  They call themselves members of the lifestyle or swingers.  My mission: to go to a swing party.  Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends s2e2: Swingers, BBC 1999

 

 

I was in Portland, Oregon, exploring a radically different way of looking at love.  Polyamory is the practice of pursuing multiple romantic relationships with the consent of all those involved.  It promises more emotional and sexual fulfilment but with freedom can come jealousy.  Louis Theroux’s Altered States I: Love Without Marriage, BBC 2018  

 

 

I have never yet seen anyone whose desire to build up his moral power was as strong as sexual desire.  Confucius, 551-479 B.C.

 

 

Being a sex symbol is rather like being a convict.  Raquel Welch, Observer 25th February 1979

 

 

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.  George Burns    

 

 

I would – I’d love to be a toy boy.  The trouble is that when you get to my age you don’t find so many openings.  Frankie Howerd

 

 

It doesn’t matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don’t do it in the street and frighten the horses.  Mrs Patrick Campbell, 1865-1940

 

 

He in a few minutes ravished this fair creature, or at least would have ravished her if she had not by a timely compliance prevented him.  Henry Fielding, Jonathan Wild

 

 

John Thomas says good-night to Lady Jane, a little droopingly, but with a hopeful heart.  D H Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover, 1928

 

 

Tonight we’re taking on hokey sex claims ... Bullshit!  Penn & Teller, Bullshit! s1e6: Sex, Sex, Sex, Showtime 2003 

 

We’re talking about the stuff that takes no commitment: pumps, pills, breast enlargement, gimmicks, aphrodisiacs, cookbooks and pheromone colognes, in other words Bullshit!  ibid.

 

 

Sasha and Janet have come up with the most brilliant business going – a way to have group sex with complete strangers and charge them for it in the name of spirituality.  They call it Tantric.  But to our eyes it’s just plain old sex.  Penn & Teller, Bullshit! s2e7: New Age Bullshit

 

 

In tonight’s show we’re going to find a way to tie orgasms to bullshit.  Penn & Teller, Bullshit! s7e1: Orgasms

 

Everybody loves orgasms: they’re free, they’re legal, they burn calories and feel great ... The way some assholes exploit our burning desire for them is bullshit.  ibid.

 

Tantric sex ... Anton gets paid to finger women.  ibid.

 

Orgasmatron?  Wrong name, Doc.  Woody Allen is gonna sue your fucking ass.  ibid.

 

 

I want you to listen to me.  Im going to say this again.  I did not have sexual relations with that woman – Ms Lewinski.  Bill Clinton, 27th January 1998  

 

cf.

 

Indeed I did have a relationship with Ms Lewinski that was not appropriate.  In fact it was wrong.  Bill Clinton, 18th August 1998  

 

 

I Slept With 100 Men ... Who’s My Baby’s Father?  Maury Povich Show

 

 

And soft adorings from their loves receive

Upon the honeyed middle of the night.  John Keats, The Eve of St Agnes, 1820

 

 

Sex and drugs and rock and roll

Is all my brain and body need

Sex and drugs and rock and roll

Are very good indeed …  Ian Dury & The Blockheads

 

 

Sex sex sex.  Where were we?  Well had I got as far as the penis entering the vagina?  Well had I done foreplay? ... Now did I do vaginal juices last week?  Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life 1983 starring Graham Chapman & John Cleese & Terry Gilliam & Eric Idle & Terry Jones & Carol Cleveland & Patricia Quinn & Judy Loe & Simon Jones & Matt Frewer & Jane Leeves et al, director Terry Jones, Cleese as teacher

 

 

Sex has never been an obsession with me.  It’s just like eating a bag of crisps.  Quite nice, but nothing marvellous.  Sex is not simply black and white.  There’s a lot of grey.  Boy George

 

 

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform.  Alfred Kinsey, cited Time 21st January 1966

 

 

Someone said to me once, What’s your favourite sexual fantasy?  And I said that you run a Hoover over the place once a week.  Jo Brand, comedienne

 

 

If your sex life is boring try using toys.  I can’t wait to walk round the house with Cindy hanging out me arse.  Paul O’Grady as Lily Savage

 

 

In America it is believed that up to five million adults participate in some form of bondage, domination, submission or masochism known as BDSM.  American Outsiders: Secret Passions

 

Its this pain and risk that draws these women to Pony Play.  ibid.

  

 

When people discussed tonics, pick-me-ups after a severe illness, she kept to herself the prescription of a quick dip in bed with someone you liked but were not in love with.  A shock of sexual astonishment which could make you feel astonishingly well and high spirited.  Mary Wesley, Not That Sort of Girl, 1987

 

 

In my day, I would only have sex with a man if I found him extremely attractive.  These days, girls seem to choose them in much the same way as they might choose to suck on a boiled sweet.  Mary Wesley, Independent 18th October 1997

 

 

I don’t want to give you the idea I’m trying to hide anything, or that anything unorthodox goes on between my wife and me.  It doesn’t.  Nothing does on at all ... No foreplay.  No after play.  And fuck all in between.  Alan Bennett, Enjoy act I, 1980

 

 

Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance?  William Shakespeare, II Henry IV II iv 283

 

 

Nay, but to live

In the rank sweat of an enseamed bed,

Stewed in corruption, honeying and making love

Over the nasty sty.  William Shakespeare, Hamlet III iv 91

 

 

Your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs.  William Shakespeare, Othello I i 117

 

 

Sex is at the core of our deepest relationships.  It’s part of what makes us human.  Professor Alice Roberts, Sex: A Horizon Guide, BBC 2013

 

AIDS has killed more than thirty million people.  ibid.

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