Are you a jinn? You don’t look like a jinn. What We Do in the Shadows s4e2: The Lamp, Nandor
I wish you to bring back all thirty-seven of my dead wives. ibid. Nandor to jinn
He [Richie Suck] is probably the greatest vampire rap artist of all time. What We Do in the Shadows s4e3: The Grand Opening, Nadja
Musical theatre is the lowest of all entertainments. It’s a gutter pantomime performed by half-wits with painted faces, enjoyed by lower wits. ibid. Laszlo to Guillermo
Everyone, we’re going to the night market. What We Do in the Shadows s4e4: The Night Market, Nadja
At least he’s not showing signs of being a bore or an energy vampire. What We Do in the Shadows s4e5: Private School, Laszlo re son of Colin Robinson
Guillermo, did you kick five holes in the wall and fuck a chicken? What We Do in the Shadows s4e6: The Wedding, Nadja
Nothing wrong with a long weekend away from the ladies. What We Do in the Shadows s4e7: Pine Barrens, Sean
I work for the vampires who live here because I hope to become a vampire myself one day. ibid. Guillermo confesses to family
Ready to take on our biggest renovation yet … Go flip yourself. What We Do in the Shadows s4e8: Go Flip Yourself, Daltry home brothers Bran & Toby
Nadja’s has become the hotspot for the Tri-State vampire community. What We Do in the Shadows s4e9: Freddie
The only thing that seems to give him any joy these days and has done since he learned to walk is hammering hole in his old room in the basement. What We Do in the Shadows s4e10: Sunrise, Sunset, Laszlo re child of Colin Robinson
Something is wrong with Gizmo lately. He’s morose, distracted, like a man with a secret. I mean, he’s still a perfectly adequate familiar. But there’s just something not right about him. What We Do in the Shadows s5e1: Laszlo Cravensworth, The Mall, Disney+ 2023
We live in Staten Island. Nobody will notice. ibid.
Tonight, Gizmo arrives upon an Uber. ibid. gang at restaurant
Nadja absolutely crushed my lower body. ibid. doll
If that were to happen Guillermo, I would have to kill you. ibid. Nandor
Prepare to be pillaged! ibid. Nandor riding merry-go-round at the mall
The truth is, we’re all just hiding in plain sight. ibid. Guillermo
Something is going very tits up with my life … And now my poor precious little dolly has got her body all mangled and minced up. What We Do in the Shadows s5e2: A Night Out With the Guys, Nadja
We’re off for a night on the town with Sean with his friends. ibid. Laszlo
Cheap crap and old fish – it’s like looking out the window of my childhood home. ibid. Nadja visits Little Antipaxos
The Comptroller controls the budget for the whole of Staten Island. What We Do in the Shadows s5e3: Pride Parade, Sean
A Pride parade right here in Staten Island! ibid. Charmaine
What if we swapped bodies just for a day. ibid. doll to Nadja
A vampire can only ascend as high as the lowest cloud in the area. ibid. Laszlo
I’m only attracted to you in doll form. ibid. Colin Robinson
We do not go to outer space because it is easy but because it is hard. ibid. Nandor
Sean had to bow out of the race. Apparently, in Staten Island there is a rule that a candidate cannot have more than 9 DUIs. What We Do in the Shadows s5e4: Campaign
I have decided to hunt for a new companion. ibid. Nandor
The debate stage is a great place for a mega-drain. ibid. Colin
Master, I’m not going to circumcise you. ibid. Guillermo
I’ve been living in Staten Island for many centuries. What We Do in the Shadows s5e5: Local News, Nandor to TV camera
I am not Nadja. I am Sally Rhubarb. ibid. Nadja
The whole world knows that vampire are real, and we are they. ibid. Laszlo to Guillermo
They are testing your blood and they are going to find your Van Helsing germs … What We Do in the Shadows s5e6: Urgent Care, Nadja to Guillermo
Nandor is going to rip your face into a new arsehole. ibid.
You are what the scientific community refer to as a lost cause. What We Do in the Shadows s5e7: Hybrid Creatures, Laszlo to Guillermo
They are the results of my experiments with your DNA. Kill them. ibid.
What about if we threw Laszlo a roast? What We Do in the Shadows s5e8: The Roast, the Guide
Vampires are supposed to have blood orgies and slaughter circles. Blah! You have all gone soft. ibid. Baron Afanas
It is best Nandor hears it from you. ibid. Baron Afanas to Guillermo
Tonight is my big art gallery opening. What We Do in the Shadows: A Weekend at Morrigan Manor s5e9, Guide
I saw some art last year so I’m good. ibid. Nadja
Laszlo, let me out of this cage so I can kill Guillermo. ibid. Nandor
I am here to conduct your exit interview from your job as a familiar and also your life. What We Do in the Shadows s5e10: Exit Interview, Colin