We are gathered here tonight in our backyard to commemorate the second death of the Baron. What We Do in the Shadows s1e7: The Trial, Nandor
The vampiric council is a very ancient organisation. Very powerful and apparently very scary. ibid.
I was Jack the Ripper. I’ve never told anyone that before. ibid. Laszlo
I have given a strange girl the most beautiful gift – the gift of becoming a vampiric blood-sucking creature of the shadows. What We Do in the Shadows s1e8: Citizenship, Nadja
Thank you all for coming to this house meeting. ibid. Nandor
She is a below average vampire. ibid. Nadja
It seems that government workers are immune to hypnotism. ibid.
I didn’t pass … I’m like a little lost duck. ibid. Nandor fails citizenship test
I will rule this world for eternity. ibid. Nandor
Our home has been selected to host the bi-annual vampire orgy. What We Do in the Shadows s1e9: The Orgy
And absorbent towels. Lots of them. ibid. Nandor
And what about the virgins? Have you got any yet? ibid. Nadja to Familiar
My master is going to help me find a virgin. ibid. Familiar
I had your DNA tested. They tested it. What We Do in the Shadows s1e10: Ancestry, Familiar
Becoming a vampire came at a strange time in my life. ibid. Nandor
Yes, witches are semen-stealers. ibid. Nadja
So yes it’s been quite a summer. We finally got a new Familiar. But he had an accident and died. What We Do in the Shadows s2e1: Resurrection, Nadja, BBC 2020
That’s the tenth vampire I’ve killed this month. ibid. Guillermo
Nadja: Look at all those pale desperate wretches scurrying around in the moonlight.
Colin Robinson: It’s a performing arts school. ibid.
Firstly, and I’m not naming names, I have recently noticed that the house reeks of decaying flesh and there are dead birds everywhere. ibid. Nandor
You were bloody texting on your phone the whole time. ibid. Nadja to necomancer
Nadja: Humph! We’ve got ghosts.
Laszlo: Bullshit. What We Do in the Shadows s2e2: Ghosts
You saw one Babadook. Don’t exaggerate. ibid. Nandor to Guillermo
Nandor, there a fucking ghost on the front lawn! ibid. Laszlo
That looks like ectoplasm. Am I right? ibid. Colin Robinson to ghost
But without a body he is all Jeff and no Gregor. And it stinks. ibid. Nadja
Could ghosts of us exist? ibid. Laszlo
You are very sweet. But you’re not my responsibility any more. You are just a lovely guy that I had very strong sex with a few hundred thousand times. And then my husband cut your head off. Move on. ibid. Nadja to ghost of Gregor-Jeff
We have been invited to a highly exclusive event. We will be spending this Sunday evening at our neighbour Shawn’s Superb Owl [Super Bowl] Party. What We Do in the Shadows s2e3: Brain Scrambles, Nandor
These poor women – they take a lovely handsome chap from the street, make him the husband, and then in the blink of an eye he becomes a big lazy sack of shit. So sad. ibid. Nadja
It is now necessary to do the humane thing and rip Sean’s head off. ibid. Nandor to Laszlo
You’re a mighty cool dude, Guillermo. ibid. head of vampire killers’ club
Here we are [lifts studded box]. I keep all of my correspondences from the past seven and half centuries in this box. What We Do in the Shadows s2e4: The Curse, Nandor
I’d say we’re fucked. This light-box [laptop] has cursed us. ibid. Laszlo to Nandor & Nadja
I think what’s happened is they’ve finally figured out that I don’t even know what this company does. What We Do in the Shadows s2e5: Colin’s Promotion, Colin summoned to boss’s office
We’ve talked about it. You’re supposed to support me when I want to kill someone. ibid.
I now go by the name of Daytona. Jackie Daytona. And I’ll tell you something, Jackie Daytona’s life ain’t so bad. Not bad at all. What We Do in the Shadows s2e6: On the Run
I did however try to kiss the Nadja doll. And it’s rejection stung. ibid. Colin Robinson
Nadja: We have just returned from the Talkies.
Laszlo: They should never have added sound. There’s pop music and people talking all the way through it. What We Do in the Shadows s2e7: The Run
I guess these Mixers started are a way for Familiars to network and exchange support techniques. What We Do in the Shadows s2e8: Collaboration, Guillermo at monthly meeting
From now on Guillermo will receive one day off per week. Plus a fifteen minute break every four hours. What We Do in the Shadows s2e9: Witches, Nandor
You guys need to clean up all these human juices. What We Do in the Shadows s2e10: Nouveau Theatre des Vampires, Colin Robinson
A lot of vampires have been slaughtered … The worst part is, it was Nando’s own Familiar that did the slaughtering … Talk to Nandor. What We Do in the Shadows s3e1: The Prisoner, Nadja, BBC 2021
You four are hereby appointed to be the leaders of the vampiric council of the eastern seaboard of the new world. ibid. world council
I, Nandor the Relentless, will sit on my throne and make a number twos. What We Do in the Shadows s3e2: The Cloak of Duplication
I’ve been struggling with my girlfriend Meg. She’s not actually my girlfriend yet. ibid.
Hi, guys. Remember Gail? I am inside her right now. What We Do in the Shadows s3e3: Gail, Nandor in hotel room
We were just dancing between rounds of cunnilingus. ibid.
For vampires travelling away from home can be very difficult. Most important rule, you must take with you the homeland soil of your coffin. What We Do in the Shadows s3e4: The Casino
Our neighbour Sean has kindly invited us to his for what he described as a boys’ only night. What We Do in the Shadows s3e5: The Chamber of Judgement, Laszlo
No, it’s a fucking urban myth, like ghosts or large penises. What We Do in the Shadows s3e6: The Escape, Laszlo
I am now back and I’ve never felt better. ibid. Baron
Colin Robinson believes that Plum Island holds the secret to his energy vampire origins. What We Do in the Shadows s3e7: The Siren, Laszlo
Today’s a very special day. It’s my master’s Accession Day. What We Do in the Shadows s3e8: The Wellness Centre, Guillermo
Nandor’s deprogramming is taking longer than we thought … What We Do in the Shadows s3e9: A Farewell, Guillermo
Colin Robinson is no longer with us. Vampires are no strangers to death. They deal with that every day with the people that they kill but when they lose one of their own they still have to deal with it. The only funeral-type tradition is that they get a new portrait made with all of them except for the newly deceased. What We Do in the Shadows s3e10: The Portrait ***** Guillermo
He’s a wild little creature. Full of mischief and surprises. What We Do in the Shadows s4e1: Reunited, Laszlo re child of Colin Robinson
I grow homesick. Not for Staten Island but my real home – Al Qoinidar. ibid. Nandor
And you are going to help me pick a bride. Because that’s what the best man does. ibid. Nandor to Guillermo
I just really want to open a vampiric nightclub. I mean come on. It’s a no-brainer. ibid. Nadja