I’ve got a bad feeling something’s gonna happen today; there’s just so much stress with the dope and the Snoopy Dogg thing … Trailer Park Boys s4e7: Propane, Propane, Ricky
Fucking Lehey blew me up. Trailer Park Boys s4e8: Working Man, Ricky
I don’t wanna hurt anybody except Ricky. ibid. Mr Lahey
I’ve been here too many times and you know the thrill’s gone. Trailer Park Boys s5e1: Give Peace a Chance, Julian
You can’t come within fifty feet of Corey and Trevor. ibid. rozzer
I smoke a lot of dope and I get drunk, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Trailer Park Boys s5e2: The Shit Puppets, Ricky
I need your car and I need your gun. ibid. Julian
Basically, we’re heating the hash up and we’re gonna lay it out on the drive and roll it out … This seems a little fucked, if you ask me. Trailer Park Boys s5e3: The Fuckin’ Way She Goes, Ricky
I was cooking French fries and I burnt his fucking trailer down. Trailer Park Boys 5e4: You Got to Blame the Thing Up Here, Bubbles
We’re going to sell this [driveway of dope] and we’ll all gonna have trailers. ibid. Julian
I’m not cool enough to shoot your gun, Julian. ibid. Trevor
There’s nothing wrong with BLTs and getting drunk. Trailer Park Boys s5e5: Jim Lehey is a Fuckin’ Drunk & He Always Will Be, Ray
Trinity, stop the car right now. I’m impounding this vehicle. ibid. Mr Lahey
I’m gonna go put my spacesuit on, boys. ibid. Bubbles with rocket
I mean nobody wants to admit they eat nine cans of ravioli. Trailer Park Boys s5e6: Don’t Cross the Shitline, Ricky
I really don’t want to be in another one of J-Roc’s Grease films. ibid. Bubbles
Don’t let this school shit distract you, OK. You’re here for one reason only and that’s to sell drugs, OK. Trailer Park Boys s5e7: The Winds of Shit, Julian
Let me fix the brakes for my daughter and then I’ll help you with the hash. Trailer Park Boys s5e8: Dressed All Over & Zesty Mordant, Ricky
I think her getting taken away by the cops is good for her; she’ll learn from that; she’ll probably be a better kid because of it. ibid. Ricky
My whole family’s in jail; I’ve got to get them out. Trailer Park Boys s5e9, I am the Liquor
You know about the hash driveway? ibid. Trevor to Mr Lehey & Randy
Randy, I am the liquor. ibid. Mr Lahey
Boys, I’m going to have a meltdown here. ibid. Bubbles
It’s already started, Randy my good friend: the shit blizzard. Trailer Park Boys s5e10: The Shit Blizzard, Mr Lahey
Looks like we’ve got a gun fight on our hands here, boys. ibid. Julian
I’ve always wanted to open something called the Kittyland Love Centre: a day-care centre for cats. Trailer Park Boys s6e1: Way of the Road, Bubbles
Great coagulated gravy-hot-dog bun bastard. ibid. Bubbles, of Randy
Lucy went out with Randy a few years ago and I just can’t get past it. I can’t. I’ve tried and it drives me nuts. Trailer Park Boys s6e2: The Cheeseburger Picnic, Ricky
Office Jim Lehey, ex-officer, doing surveillance on Julian who appears to be renovating his trailer with stolen building materials and tools. Trailer Park Boys s6e3: High Definition Piss Jugs, Mr Lahey to hidden camera
Sure I’m hungover, I’m burnt out, but that’s what being a good dad’s all about. Trailer Park Boys s6e4: Where in the Fuck is Oscar Goldman, Ricky
It seems to me like Randy and Officer Ted had a bit of a lover’s quarrel. Trailer Park Boys s6e5: Halloween 1977, Sarah
If Randy thinks he’s smarter than me, he’s wrong. ibid. Ricky
Mr Lehey used to be nice back then. We turned him into a drunk crazy lunatic. ibid. Bubbles
I’ve been collecting evidence. Video tape evidence – forty-five hours on tape: Cory, Trevor, Ricky and Julian breaking the law. Trailer Park Boys s6e6: Gimme My Fuckin’ Money or Randy’s Dead, Mr Lahey to Randy
I don’t know how life can get any better than this. ibid. Randy
Now I’m in the liquor store parking lot selling fuckin’ meat instead of Cory and Trevor. Trailer Park Boys s7e1: I Fuckin’ Miss Cory & Trevor, Ricky
You know it’s never too late to change the path you’re going down in life, boys. ibid. Mrs Anderson, boys’ ex-teacher
What’s cracking, yo. Lemme be the first to officially welcome yo’ll motherfuckers to my brand new joint – Scrilla Villa. Trailer Trailer Park Boys s7e2: I Banged Lucy & Knocked Her Up … No Big Deal, besuited J-Roc
This seems like an honest gig. ibid. Lucy working for J-Roc
I’m gonna find out who banged Lucy and gave her a baby. ibid. Ricky
A moment of weakness … I banged Randy. ibid. Lucy
Some sort of a crazy liquor cheeseburger party, Ricky. Trailer Park Boys s7e3: Three Good Men are Dead, Bubbles
You bang the stupidest guys – I don’t get it – Randy and George … ibid. Ricky
Ray is driving me to Maine to make a little money on scrap and I’m going to that train convention I told you about … Trailer Park Boys s7e4: Friends of the Road, Ricky reads Bubbles’ note
Where’s your buddy? That cool guy with the glasses? ibid. Sebastian Bach
With this [Patrick Swayze’s personal model train]. We’re gonna run a track through the woods and across the border and load the weed on to the freight carts. It’s going to be easy. Trailer Park Boys s7e5: The Mustard Tiger
They’re [Jacob et al] just too fucking stupid to survive. Trailer Park Boys s7e6: We Can’t Call People Without Wings Angels So We Call Them Friends, Ricky
The dream is real: me and Randy are having the grand opening of the Dirty Burger today. Trailer Park Boys s7e7: Jump the Cheeseburger, Phil Collins
Janitor Witnesses Swayzie Express Robbery: Janitor Saw ‘Greasy Looking’ Canadians in Parking Lot On Drugs. Swayzie offers $50,000 reward for return of prize model train. Trailer Park Boys s7e8: Let the Liquor do the Thinking, Bangor Daily News front cover
You might be sexy, Julian, but you can’t teach me anything about liquor. Trailer Park Boys s7e9: Going Off the Rails and On the Swayzie Train, Mr Lahey
Ricky and Julian have pretty much everything riding on this one deal. And if you ask me, the whole plan’s fucked. Trailer Park Boys s7e10: A Shit River Runs Through It, Chucky
There’s no such thing as hillbillies up here in the woods. ibid. rozzer to boys
I was meant to be a drunk trailer park supervisor. ibid. Mr Lahey
I always wanted one of those bars like that TV show Cheers where everybody knows your name and now I have one. Julian’s Sports Bar and Gym. Trailer Park Boys s8e1: Money Can Suck My Cock, Ricky
I’m not talking about illegal stuff. Maybe a little bit. Trailer Park Boys s8e2: The Fuckin’ V-Team, Julian to Barbara
You’re like a mother to most of us. You just can’t give up on everyone. ibid.
I need to hire some new employees for the Barb. Strippers. I’m going to take it up a few notches. Trailer Park Boys s8e3: The Dirty Dancer, Julian