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Spy Films
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★ Spy Films

A week ago Tom Bishop disappeared in Hong Kong.  Last night he turned up outside Shanghai.  He’s been arrested for espionage.  Spy Game 2001 starring Robert Redford & Brad Pitt & Catherine McCormack & Stephen Dillane & Larry Bryggman & Marianne Jean-Baptiste & Ken Leung & David Hemmings & Michael Paul Chan & Garrick Hagon & Andrew Grainger, director Tony Scott, spymaster

 

Most of the time all you need is a stick of gum, a pocket knife and a smile.  ibid.  Redford to Pitt

 

We have some fucked up barometer for success, don’t we?  ibid.  Pitt to Redford  

 

Do you remember when we could tell the good guys from the bad guys?  ibid.  Redford

 

 

Dodgson, a self-confessed and convicted Soviet agent, was able to hold a position of trust here for ten years.  It must not happen again.  The Whistle Blower 1985 starring Michael Caine & James Fox & Nigel Havers & John Gielgun & Felicity Dean & Barry Foster & Gordon Jackson & Kenneth Colley & David Langton & Dinah Stabb & James Simmons et al, director Simon Langton

 

It’s not only your jobs that are at risk, it’s the survival of the free world.  ibid.

 

There are seven thousand of us working at GCHG.  ibid.  son to father

 

Because unlike the enemy we err on the side of decency and trust.  ibid.  toff boss to boss

 

They have put out the lights in the ordinary world – something Bob said.  ibid.  father to Bob's bird

 

Now nuclear war is expected.  And planned for.  ibid.  mad establishment bloke to Caine  

 

It wasn’t a moral judgment initially – more an aesthetic one.  ibid.  traitor to Gielgud to Caine

 

 

By 1960, the nuclear arms race had intensified.  The United States and Soviet Union now possessed weapons capable of wiping out humanity.  As Khrushchev and his American counterparts traded threats, many feared that the world was on the verge of imminent destruction.  The Courier 2021 starring Benedict Cumberbatch & Merab Ninidze & Rachel Brosnahan & Jessie Buckley & Angus Wright & Zeljko Ivanek & Kirill Pirogov & Anton Lesser & Maria Mironova & Vladimir Chiprikov et al, director Dominic Cooke

 

Say hello to Colonel Oleg Vladimiravish Pentovsky.  Codename Ironmark … He’s GRU.  ibid.  US spy to Brits 

 

If this mission was the least bit dangerous you really are the last man we’d send.  ibid.  Spy knob to Greville  

 

Tell your government they must use my information wisely.  Not as a weapon but as a tool to bring peace.  ibid.  Pentovsky to Brits  

 

I am a traitor.  I betrayed the revolution.  I’m so sorry.  ibid.  Pentovsky to wife   

 

 

Austin Powers trilogy: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my underground lair.  I have gathered here before me the world’s greatest assassins.  And yet each of you has failed to kill Austin Powers.  That makes me angry.  And when Mr Bigglesworth gets upset people die.  Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery 1997 starring Mike Myers & Elizabeth Hurley & Robert Wagner & Seth Green & Mindy Sterling & Michael York & Fabiana Udenio & Will Ferrell & Mimi Rogers & Joe Son et al, director Jay Roach, Dr Evil to associates

 

Austin, good luck.  The world is depending on you.  ibid.  Controller

 

Frau Farbisinner, founder of the militant wing of the Salvation Army.  ibid.  Doctor Evil

 

We will hold the world to ransom for ... one million dollars.  ibid.

 

Could I have a hug?  ibid.  Doctor Evil to son Scott

 

I just think like he hates me.  I really think he wants to kill me.  ibid.  Scott

 

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.  Very well, where do I begin?  My father was a relentlessly self-improving lingerier from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.  My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.  My father would womanise, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he had invented the question mark.  Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy.  The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.  My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, luge lessons, in the spring we would make meat helmets.  When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds – pretty standard really.  ibid.  Dr Evil & Scott at counselling

 

Do I make you horny, baby?  Do I?  ibid.  Austin Powers

 

 

Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, was frozen in 1967 and defrosted in the Nineties to battle his nemesis Dr Evil.  Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me 1999 starring Mike Myers & Heather Graham & Michael York & Robert Wagner & Rob Lowe & Mindy Sterling & Seth Green & Verne Troyer & Elizabeth Hurley & Will Ferrell et al, director Jay Roach, caption

 

Vanessa, you’re a Fembot!  ibid.  Austin

 

I’m single again!  Oh behave!  ibid.

 

My Father is Evil and Wants to Take Over the World.  ibid.  Jerry Springer Show

 

Dad is the Head of a Worldwide Organisation that Wants to Dominate the World.  ibid.

 

Because you’re not quite evil enough.  Well it’s true.  You’re quasi-evil.  ibid.  Dr Evil to Scott

 

Number Two: Dr Evil, while you were frozen we began a program to clone you: he is exactly like you in every way.  Except one-eighth your size.

 

Dr Evil: I shall call him – Mini Me.  ibid.

 

Scott, you had your chance, OK?  I already had someone created in my image – who is evil, who wants to take over the world, and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins.  ibid.

 

Let me present my spy in the Ministry of Defence – Fat Bastard.  ibid.

 

Do I make you horny, baby?  Do I?  Do I make you randy?  ibid.  Austin

 

I’m back in the sixties, baby!  Yeah!  ibid.

  

 

Very shagadelic, baby, yeah!  Austin Powers 2002 Goldmember 2002 starring Mike Myers & Beyonce Knowles & Michael York & Aaron Himelstein & Josh Zuckerman & Michael Caine & Scott Aukerman & Robert Wagner & Rob Lowe & Evan Farmer et al, director Jay Roach

 

Heel!  Come on, got me a Mormon.  ibid.  Dr Evil reels in Mini-Me

 

 

We’ve had some intelligence from a potential source: the principle money launderer for the Russian Mafia.  Our Kind of Traitor 2016 starring Ewan McGregor & Stellan Skarsgard & Damian Lewis & Naomie Harris & Khalid Abdalla & Velibor Topic & Alicia von Rittberg & Mark Gatiss & Mark Stanley & Jeremy Northam et al, director Susanna White, spies in taxi

 

He’s working for the Russian Mafia – and so are dozens of the most powerful bankers and politicians in this country.  ibid.

 

 

I and the public know

What all schoolchildren learn,

Those to whom evil is done

Do evil in return.  Body of Lies 2008 starring Leonardo DiCaprio & Russell Crowe & Mark Strong & Golshifteh Farahani & Vince Colosimo & Oscar Isaac & Ali Suliman & Alon Aboutboul et al, director Ridley Scott, W H Auden

 

We will avenge the American wars on the Muslim world.  ibid.  militant bloke

 

It will most likely make your enemy stronger.  ibid.  Crowe

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