I think I’ve got that irritable bowel syndrome. Screen One s2e1: News Hounds starring Ade Edmonson & Alison Steadman, her to him in car, BBC 1990
I’m going to have to go in, legs up, undercover. ibid. female journalist plans entrapment
MUESLI — CANCER SCARE. ibid. The Brit front page
And what’s your star sign, Sean? ibid. Jackie
I’m not in the business of helping people, darling. I’m a journalist. ibid.
Have you got somewhere to stay? Screen One: Sweet Nothing, stranger at station, BBC 1990
I don’t know why you all aren’t burning down my house. I would. ibid. rich lady
I may look rough but I’m not easy. ibid. Ros to Phil
But a pint? That’s very nearly an armful. Screen One: Hancock by William Humble, BBC 1991
No more co-stars. No again, thank you. ibid. meeting with writers
The world’s their comedy playground, and that’s what I want to be, out there with that lot. ibid.
Now, gentlemen, there’s only one major item – the appointment of the new governess and assistant teacher … We’ve only one application. Screen Two: The Burston Rebellion by Elaine Morgan starring Eileen Atkins & Bernard Hill et al, BBC 1985
She’s the best governess we ever had. ibid. Pupil
This is none other than the House of God. This is the Gate of Heaven. ibid. hardcore minister
You’re going to stand there and talk about rights? ibid. hardcore farmer to Tom
Somebody’s got to stand up to them. Anyway, what can they do? ibid. Tom to locals
We want our teacher back … Justice … ibid. children’s protest banners
There must be a whole secret network of radicals and anarchists plotting to corrupt the minds of decent honest working people. ibid. hardcore rector
A gap in the market that’s ripe for exploitation … a new premium lager, Chaser. Screen Two: Honest, Decent and True, Brian to advertising execs, BBC 1986
‘They are really funny and fresh and they absolutely operate in our world today.’ Doing Chekhov, Reece Shearsmith
‘That’s the challenge of it: to try and make those gear-changes.’ ibid. Steve Coogan in The Dangers of Tobacco
Suppose you loved a woman – lived with her for two or three years then stopped caring for her. As one does. How do you behave in that case? What if she had nowhere to go? Anton Chekhov, The Duel, opening scene, Sky Arts 2012
A duel is a duel. I want to fight. ibid. combatant
I dress in black to match my life. I am unhappy. Anton Chekhov: The Sea-Gull, Masha, written 1895; viz 1968 starring James Mason & Vanessa Redgrave et al
Happiness does not depend on riches; poor men are often happy. ibid.
The tragedy of my existence: even when I was young I always looked as if I were drunk; I never had any success with women. ibid. Sorin
I feel that they only endure me because I am her son. ibid. Treplieff
It must be pleasant to be even an insignificant author. ibid.
I think love should come in every play. ibid. Nina
All is void, void, void. All is terrible, terrible. The bodies of all living creatures have dropped to dust … ibid. Nina’s monologue re future
Let him write and he feels and can, but let him spare me his nonsense. ibid. Arkadina
An angel of silence is flying over our heads. ibid. Dorn
I am in agony. No-one, no-one can imagine how I suffer. ibid. Masha
Often I have no desire to live at all. ibid.
One still wants to live at 65. ibid. Sorin
Wine and tobacco destroy the individuality. ibid. Dorn
What could be duller than this dear tedium of the country? ibid. Arkadina
I was base enough today to kill this sea-gull. I lay it at your feet. ibid. Treplieff to NIna
If the critics praise me, I am happy; if they condemn me, I am out of sorts for the next two days. ibid. Trigorin
Violent obsessions sometimes take hold of a man. ibid.
I cannot escape myself though I feel I am consuming my life. ibid.
I have never pleased myself. As a writer, I do not like myself at all. ibid.
I have no will of my own. I never had. I am too indolent, too submissive, too phlegmatic, to have any. ibid.
It is only a pity that he [Constantine] has no definite object in view. He creates impressions, and nothing more, and one cannot go far on impressions alone. ibid. Dorn
Take a little tea, my son … A little vodka instead? Anton Chekhov, Uncle Vanya, published 1897; Marina to Astroff, viz BBC production 1991
I am overworked. Nurse, I am on my feet from dawn to dusk. I know no rest. ibid. Astroff to Marina
My life has gone completely off the track. I sleep in the dark, drink wine … ibid. Voitski
What’s he [Professor] doing in there [library] all day? What’s he working on? ibid.
We destroy the forests, the rivers run dry, the wildlife is all but extinct, the climate is ruined … ibid.
This is not a happy home … One would not say this is a happy home. ibid. Helena
Soon the rain will be over, and all nature will sigh and awake refreshed. ibid. Voitski
Do you know, I couldn’t live a month in this house? This atmosphere would stifle me. ibid. Astroff
You drink and you gamble. Please stop. ibid. Sonia to Astroff
I am dying of this tedium. What shall I do? ibid. Helena to Sonia
We are confronted by the degradation of our country brought on by the fierce struggle for existence of the human race. It is a consequence of the ignorance and unconsciousness of starving, sick humanity that to save its children instinctively snatches at everything that can warm it and still its hunger. ibid. Astroff to Helena
What can we do? We must live our lives. Yes, we shall live, Uncle Vanya. We shall live through the long procession of days before us, through the long evenings; we shall patiently bear the trials that fate imposes on us; we shall work for others without rest, both now and when we are old: and when our last hour comes we shall meet it humbly, and there, beyond the grave, we shall say that we have suffered and wept, that our life was bitter, and God will have pity on us. ibid. Sonia
It’s just a year since father died last May 5th, on your name-day, Irina. It was very cold then, and snowing. I thought I would never survive it, and you were in the dead faint. Anton Chekhov, The Three Sisters, 1901, Olga
In 25 years’ time we shall all be dead. ibid. Soleni
Our present existence, with which we are so satisfied, will in time appear strange, inconvenient, stupid, unclean, perhaps even sinful. ibid. Vershinin