Host to wife and twins: Think of the difficulties a son would provide – the nightmare of puberty. Endless sessions in the bathroom as Junior shakes hot white coconuts from the veiny love tree. Yes, we’re better off with Chloe and Radcliff. ibid.
No need to be rude! ibid. two old ladies in charity shop
Do you want a bag for that, dear? ibid.
Pauline, she’s worse than you. ibid. Mickey
You haven’t got a job, remember ... Get out of my sight, and my Re-Start. ibid. Cathy Carter Smith
In this house we do not use the F [Frog] word. ibid. host
Please, if you don’t understand any of my sayings, come to me in private and I will take you in my German mouth. The League of Gentlemen s2e2: Lust for Royston Vasey s2e2, Herr Lipp
95% of the people that come through our doors are weirdos. The League of Gentlemen s2e3: A Plague on Royston Vasey, dating agency woman to new client
Propelled across the land in a carriage of no horse-drawn, belching Satan’s black wind into our clean and local air. This is a decent town and a local shop - there’s nothing for you here. The League of Gentlemen s2e4: Death in Royston Vasey, Edward to petrol-seeking visitor
I’ll let you go when I’ve got my job back and not before. The League of Gentlemen s2e5: Anarchy in Royston Vesey, Pauline
You put yourself in my fist, Justin. ibid. Herr Lipp
Will Heaven be like Swansea? The League of Gentlemen s2e6: Royston Vasey and the Monster from Hell, Tubbs
We’re alive! The League of Gentlemen s3e1: The Lesbian and the Monkey, Tubbs
Just remember who got you out of prison. ibid. Ross to Pauline
I hate this unidextrous life. The League of Gentlemen s3e2: The One-Armed Man is King, man from joke shop
The smell of chemicals and warm farts. ibid. embalmer
There’s things gone astray. Bits gone astray. And certain activities being observed. ibid.
Sometimes I think go to India, Tish, and live in a kibbutz or something. The League of Gentlemen s3e3: Turn Again Geoff Tipps, Tish
Hold my melons while I try and nudge this bell. The League of Gentlemen s3e4: Beauty and the Beast s3e4, Crystal Tips
Hold my melons while I try and nudge this bell. The League of Gentlemen s3e5: Beauty and the Beast, Crystal Tips
You don’t do extras, do ya? ibid. bloke on massage table
We’ve lost a bag. The League of Gentlemen s3e6: How The Elephant Got Its Trunk, old ladies in charity shop
It’s all good stuff, dear. ibid. old lady grieving
Good stuff, is it? ibid. old lady to new man-lady
Now what the bloody hell’s going on? ibid. old lady
No need to be rude, dear. ibid.
He’s put them all into piles so he can bag ’em all up. Here he’s got some good stuff in here – it’s brand new. ibid.
No hate speech. Gender neutral pronouns only. People used to make fun of the likes of us. Well that’s all gone now. The world’s moved on. We are no longer a source of cheap humour and laughs. The League of Gentlemen s4e1: Return to Royston Vasey
Save Royston Vasey. Our town is under threat. Come to the council meeting this afternoon at 2 p.m. The League of Gentlemen s4e2
And what exactly does he mean where he says, ‘We are a local shop for local people?’ The League of Gentlemen s4e3, BBC breakfast television
God Is Dead. The League of Gentlemen Christmas Special, Chapel of Hope sign
‘Lenny Henry started out as a comic and has transformed himself by a lot of hard work into one of the most brilliant actors.’ Lenny Henry: A Life on Screen, Trevor McDonald, BBC 2016
The Queen Mary Ballroom Dudley: ‘All these kids in there pretending to be over 18.’ ibid. Lenny
The Fosters 1976; Great Yarmouth 1978; Tiswas 1978-1982; Three of a Kind 1981-1983; The Lenny Henry Show 1984-2012; Comic Relief 1986; Famous, Rich and in the Slums 2011; Lenny in Hollywood 1991; Chef 1993; Alive & Kicking 1991; Lenny & Will Radio 2006; Othello 2009; The Comedy of Errors 2009; Danny & the Human Zoo 2015; The Cops Don’t Know 2015. ibid.
Laughter is also one of the best ways to slay tyrants. The Corbett Report: Laughing at Tyrants, James Corbett online June 2015
The nexus of truth and comedy. ibid.
Comedy is about benign violation. ibid.
News on the March: Nixon Nominated For Nobel War Prize. Drunk Stoned Brilliant Dead: The Story of the National Lampoon, article, Sky Arts 2017
This totally outrageous voice that was screaming, Here I Come. ibid. reader
Nancy Reagan’s Guide to Dating Dos and Don’ts by Doug Kenney. ibid. article
First Blow Job by Doug Kenney. ibid.
Children’s Letters to the Gestapo by Michael O’Donoghue. Dear Heinrich Himmler, How do you get all those people into your oven? We can hardly get a pork roast into ours. ibid.
Welcome Vulgarity Lovers! Here’s Your Very Own Copy of The Liz Taylor and Richard Burton Gift Catalogue. ibid.
Guns and Sandwiches The Finest in Its Field. July 1974 $1. ibid.
Telling a Kid His Parents are Dead. ibid.
Vietnamese Baby Book. Baby’s First Wound. ibid.
If You Don’t Buy This Magazine We’ll Kill This Dog. Jan 1973. ibid.
The Sixteen Amazing Differences Between Lincoln & Kennedy by David Smith. ibid.
Are Jews White People? Technically, yes, but … ibid.
‘It is the job of a satirist OK to make people in power uncomfortable, really uncomfortable, to point where they go, This has to be stopped.’ ibid. Tony Hendra, Lampoon editor
Disco Beavers from Outer Space. ibid.
‘Doug was very distraught and upset that Caddyshack wasn’t as big as Animal House.’ ibid.
Doug Kenney, one of the founders of National Lampoon died in a hiking accident on the island of Kauai on August 29 1980. ibid.
British TV can be like a desperate office joker: he’ll do anything for a laugh, even if it makes an arse of itself. The Best of Bad TV: When Comedy Shows Go Wrong, My5 2017
The Big Send Up: In the autumn of 1977 viewers of ITV found themselves confronted by this bewilderingly unfunny TV special … The Comedians: blokes telling jokes: it was no joke … The Two Ronnies’ black and white minstrels … Wheeltappers and Shunters’ Social Club ... Mind Your Language … Till Death Us Do Part … It Ain’t Half Hot Mum … Tiswas/OTT … Bottle Boys … Ann Diamond & TVAM & Faith Brown … Hardwicke House (2 episodes) … Des O’Connor Tonight … Heil Honey I’m Home (BSB/Galaxy 1 episode) … The Time The Place … Ant and Dec’s Geordie Christmas … Harry & Paul (northern stereotype) … Balls of Steel (Channel 4) … Never Mind the Buzzcocks … ibid.
In 1996 some of the greatest comedy talents of all time came together to create a new sketch comedy show. What resulted was arguably one of the most spectacular failures in television history. Too Funny to Fail: The Life and Death of the Dana Carvey Show, caption, 2017
At some point you’ve got to shoot something. ibid. Dana
[Steve] Carell’s commitment was beyond 1000%. ibid.
Something like six million people deserted the show I dunno within the first five minutes. ibid.
The show was really critically savaged. ibid. writer
The only letter that singled me out was from my mother. ibid. Carell
‘She was the very first performer chosen for the cast of Saturday Night Live.’ Love, Gilda, 2018
‘I used comedy to be in control.’ ibid. Gilda
‘At one time in my life I was famous and it seemed like everyone knew me.’ ibid.
‘I was really a child of comedy.’ ibid.
‘Comedy: It’s hitting on the truth before the other guy thinks of it.’ ibid.
‘Gilda had quite a few boyfriends.’ ibid. dad
‘I consider myself a circus performer … You’re working for the audience.’ ibid. Gilda
New England Baptist Hospital: 1,200 calorie diet. ibid. caption
‘I know I won’t be able to hold out forever’. ibid. diary entry
‘I had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer.’ ibid. Gilda