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★ Christmas

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his quiet home!  Charles Dickens

 

 

He went to the church, and walked about the streets, and watched the people hurrying to and for, and patted the children on the head, and questioned beggars, and looked down into the kitchens of homes, and up to the windows, and found that everything could yield him pleasure.  He had never dreamed of any walk, that anything, could give him so much happiness.  Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol p119

 

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.  ibid. 

 

A merry Christmas to everybody!  A happy New Year to all the world!  ibid.

 

 

Christmas is a time in which, of all times in the year, the memory of every remediable sorrow, wrong, and trouble in the world around us, should be active with us, not less than our own experiences, for all good.  Charles Dickens, The Haunted Man and the Ghost’s Bargain

 

 

Christmas it seems to me is a necessary festival; we require a season when we can regret all the flaws in our human relationships: it is the feast of failure, sad but consoling.  Graham Greene, Travels With My Aunt 

 

 

Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.  G K Chesterton, Beave New Family

 

 

At this time of year it’s easy to forget the true meaning of Christianity – the lies, the corruption, the abuse.  Banksy

 

 

I felt overstuffed and dull and disappointed, the way I always do the day after Christmas, as if whatever it was the pine boughs and the candles and the silver and gilt-ribboned presents and the birch-log fires and the Christmas turkey and the carols at the piano promised never came to pass.  Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

 

 

For the rest, silence or good music, not much food, a lot of solitude, walks on the Heath, the time to think while others ... well, often fall apart.  Not so bad, not so bad at all.  Being queer and self-sufficient is the best present at this season.  Will Self, The Book of Dave

 

 

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.  Bernard Manning

 

 

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.  Phyllis Diller

 

 

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.  Dave Barry

 

 

I beg to present you as a Christmas gift the city of Savannah.  William Tecumseh Sherman

 

 

It’s surprising to me how many of my friends send Christmas cards, or holiday cards, including my atheist and secular friends.  Christopher Hitchens

 

 

Christmas in LA is weird.  There’s no snow.  It’s not even cold.  Ellie Goulding

 

 

There’s never really been a real hood Christmas movie.  Ice Cube

 

 

I remember wishing there was snow in LA.  And how jealous we used to get of those Christmas specials with kids playing in the snow.  Ice Cube

 

 

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.  Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.  Shirley Temple Black

 

 

The real Santa Claus is at the mall.  Lemony Snicket, The Lump of Coal 

 

 

Christmas is over and Business is Business.  Franklin Pierce Adams 

 

 

Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren’t for Christmas
We’d all be Jewish.  Benny Hill

 

 

They chose December 25th, the winter solstice, which also happens to be the birthday of Mithras.  Dr Robert Beckford, The Hidden Story of Jesus, Channel 4 2007

 

 

Most people already know that the timings of Easter and Christmas come from the pagan traditions.  Origins of Christianity

 

 

Santa Claus: What would you like for Christmas?

Girl on lap: My own credit card.  Brazil 1985 starring Jonathan Pryce & Robert De Niro & Katherine Helmond & Ian Holm & Bob Hoskins & Michael Palin & Kim Griest & Bob Hoskins & Jim Broadbent et al, director Terry Gilliam   

 

 

Cromwell failed to crush the Cavalier spirit of Christmas.  Roundhead or Cavalier: Which One Are You? BBC 2012

 

 

‘Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents,’ grumbled Jo, lying on the rug.

 

‘It’s so dreadful to be poor!’ sighed Meg, looking down at her old dress.

 

‘I don’t think it’s fair for some girls to have plenty of pretty things, and other girls nothing at all,’ added little Amy, with an injured sniff.

 

‘We’ve got Father and Mother and each other,’ said Beth contentedly from her corner.

 

The four young faces on which the firelight shone brightened at the cheerful words,, but darkened again as Jo said sadly, ‘We haven’t got Father, and shall not have him for a long time.’  Louisa M Alcott, Little Women Chapter 1: Playing Pilgrims p1

 

 

Barbara: Denise, what we having for starters tomorrow?

 

Denise: Well erm I’m thinking of Cup-a-Soups.  But with a twist.  The Royle Family Christmas Special 1999: The New Sofa

 

Barbara: There’s something under the tree for you.

 

Jim: Get it for us, will ya, Barb?  ibid.

 

Also on the trolley there are aperitifs (Hula-Hoops).  ibid.

 

 

Somebody bought baby David two hundred Bensons.  The Royle Family at Christmas, Barbara

 

Sky!  Sky TV!  You’ve got me Sky TV!  200 channels!  ibid.  Jim  

 

 

Parlour games, my arse.  Christmas with the Royle Family, Jim

 

This is the one day of the year to watch the bloody television and look at the shite they put on.  ibid.

 

Let’s all have a snowball.  ibid.  Barbara

 

It’s a complete bloody racket Christmas now, isn’t it.  It’s a swizz.  ibid.  Jim

 

Christmas Day, my arse.  ibid.

 

He got me the Delia Smith cookery book.  ibid.  Denise

 

 

We Schrutes use every part of the goose.  The Office US 3e10: Benihana Christmas, Dwight, NBC 2006  

 

 

This is the first Christmas party I’m throwing as Head of the Party Planning Committee.  The theme is nights in Morocco.  This isn’t your Grandmother’s Christmas Party.  Unless of court she is from Morocco.  In which case it’s very accurate.  The Office US s5e11: Moroccan Christmas, Phyllis

 

I am not going to judge Phyllis for desecrating Christmas.  There is one person who will though.  ibid.  Angela

 

I am simply punishing the parents that will wait to the last minute to give their child a gift.  ibid.  Dwight

 

 

It is St Patrick’s Day, and here in Scranton that is a huge deal.  It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas.  The Office US s6e19: St Patrick’s Day, Michael

 

 

That’s what every boss wants: a wonderful Christmas with no drama.  The Office US s7e11: Classy Christmas I, Michael

 

 

Moving between the legs of tables and of chairs, rising or falling, grasping at kisses and toys, advancing boldly, sudden to take alarm, retreating to the corner of arm and knee, eager to be reassured, taking pleasure in the fragrant brilliance of the Christmas tree.  T S Eliot

 

 

It being now what is usually called the festive season – possibly because at this period of the year a greater number of people are suffering from hunger and cold that at any other time.  Robert Tressell, The Ragged Trousered Philanthropist 

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