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This is officer Jim Lahey – I’m installing a hidden camera in the dressing room to prove that Julian is forcing my Randy to be here tonight: that’s human trafficking for the purposes of sexual slavery.  The shit cheese is in the shit trap.  Trailer Park Boys: Live at the North Pole, Netflix 2014  

 

 

Hey, Bubs … I heard you’re gonna be in a Ninja movie?

 

Bubbles: It’s not official yet … I’ve seen every Ninja movie in history.  Trailer Park Boys: Drunk, High & Unemployed, Netflix 2015  

 

 

This place is fucked!  Everything is fucking backwards!  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park Europe I: London, Ricky, Netflix 2016

 

 

I kind of feel like Freddie Mercury in these things [Lederhosen].  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park Europe II: Berlin  

 

 

Acquire a strap-on dildo and wear it around the city for an hour: $25.  Please note strap-on must be a minimum of ten inches long to qualify.  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park Europe III: Copenhagen, boys’ city challenge

 

 

Julian: Trolls don’t exist … Just like fucking samsquanches exist, ah?  

 

Bubbles: Oh, you’re telling me those aren’t real too, are ya?  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park Europe IV: Oslo

 

 

It’s just rotten fish … Oh, Ricky, she exploded on ya … How many of them … How many of them you think I’ve gotta eat to get the money?  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park Europe V: Stockholm  

 

 

I’ve seen Ricky do some pretty fucked-up things in my life but to drink three cups of reindeer piss just cause some nutcase in a suit says, ‘Oh yes it sends you to another planet’  Ricky is fucked.  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park Europe VI: Helsinki

 

 

This has been my dream my whole fucking life.  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park Europe VII: Amsterdam I, Ricky

 

 

Liquor and whores

Liquor and whores

Cigarettes and dope and mustard and baloney

Liquor and whores.  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park Europe VIII: Amsterdam II, Bubbles & the Shit Rockers  

 

 

Complete and pass NASA astronaut training … It’s my dream to go to NASA, Ricky ... They’re probably going, Holy Fuck!  Where did this guy come from?  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park USA I: Orlando 1, Bubs reads the boys’ task, 2017

 

 

He [tiger] wants belly work.  You see him exposing his belly?  He wanted me to [tickle] do belly work.  He was saying, I can tell that you do good belly work.   Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park USA II: Orlando 2, boys visit big cat park

 

 

Bubbles: Have you any idea how fast 200 mph is?

 

Ricky: No.  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park USA III: Charlotte    

 

 

We gotta be realistic here.  If I blow up as a big country star, and I could, and you guys will probably be working for me at that point, and I’d like that, but you gonna have to change your fucking attitudes.  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park USA IV: New Orleans

 

 

Kidnap the governor of Tennessee for an hour for a thousand bucks.  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park USA V: Memphis, boys’ challenge  

 

 

I could be the next Garth Brooks.  If you want a piece of that action, you better start acting like it.  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park USA VI: Nashville, Bubbles to Ricky

 

 

Rich people are so fucked.  Fuck off!  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park USA VII: Los Angeles I, Ricky    

 

 

You’re one of the coolest people in the world.  Trailer Park Boys: Out of the Park USA VIII: Los Angeles II, Bubbles to Julian    

 

 

Boys, I’m freaking out here.  I’m freaking out.   We ate three pounds of fucking mushrooms.  Like we’re stuck in a cartoon world here.  Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series I: Long Short Story: A Bear Ripped My Cock Off & Ate It, 2019

 

 

A worm?  See how fast that thing was  it’s more like a fucking cobra.  Oh my fuck, boys, I have a goddamned pepperoni cobra living in my ’testines.  Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series II: The Pepperoni Cobra, Ricky

 

Ricky, you know you can’t keep a tapeworm as a pet, right?  ibid.  

 

 

Hey, guys, check out these losers … You guys ever going to play in the Weed Cup again?  Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series III: The Stanley Bong, Moncton Mudslides player

 

 

Let’s have a little party, bud.  Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series IV: The Penis Milker, ghost of Mr Lahey to Randy  

 

 

Lord, bless this schedule and help it guide Randy, Amen.  Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series V: Big Ho’s Carwash, Clont  

 

Apparently, my two best friends started an underground gay day spa.  ibid.  Bubbles interviewed  

 

 

This reminds me of the hash we smoked with the old man when we was eight when we went fishing.  (Gangs: Canada & Nova Scotia & Trailers & Mockumentaries & Cartoons & Cannabis)  Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series VI: The Three Mustardteers, Ricky  

 

 

Jacob, you’re going to have to get a fourth job.  Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series VII: Satan’s Bastards, Ricky

 

 

Well it’s fucking simple.  Just use gravity to pull the fuck out of the plants, makes them grow bigger and way the fuck faster.   Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series VIII: Space Weed, Ricky’s upside down plants

 

 

More than 300 batteries were stolen from cars outside a local movie theatre last night.  Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series IX: Hurricane Ricky, television news  

 

 

Putting on a little concert.  It’s gonna be a big sale, karaoke, maybe get some puppets going, and then the big draw of the day  Bubbles and the Shitrockers are gonna headline it.  Trailer Park Boys: The Animated Series X: Trailerstock, Bubbles 

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