I’ve always wanted to open something called the Kittyland Love Centre: a day-care centre for cats. Trailer Park Boys s6e1: Way of the Road, Bubbles
Great coagulated gravy-hot-dog bun bastard. ibid. Bubbles, of Randy
Lucy went out with Randy a few years ago and I just can’t get past it. I can’t. I’ve tried and it drives me nuts. Trailer Park Boys s6e2: The Cheeseburger Picnic, Ricky
Office Jim Lehey, ex-officer, doing surveillance on Julian who appears to be renovating his trailer with stolen building materials and tools. Trailer Park Boys s6e3: High Definition Piss Jugs, Mr Lahey to hidden camera
Sure I’m hungover, I’m burnt out, but that’s what being a good dad’s all about. Trailer Park Boys s6e4: Where in the Fuck is Oscar Goldman, Ricky
It seems to me like Randy and Officer Ted had a bit of a lover’s quarrel. Trailer Park Boys s6e5: Halloween 1977, Sarah
If Randy thinks he’s smarter than me, he’s wrong. ibid. Ricky
Mr Lehey used to be nice back then. We turned him into a drunk crazy lunatic. ibid. Bubbles
I’ve been collecting evidence. Video tape evidence – forty-five hours on tape: Cory, Trevor, Ricky and Julian breaking the law. Trailer Park Boys s6e6: Gimme My Fuckin’ Money or Randy’s Dead, Mr Lahey to Randy
I don’t know how life can get any better than this. ibid. Randy
Now I’m in the liquor store parking lot selling fuckin’ meat instead of Cory and Trevor. Trailer Park Boys s7e1: I Fuckin’ Miss Cory & Trevor, Ricky
You know it’s never too late to change the path you’re going down in life, boys. ibid. Mrs Anderson, boys’ ex-teacher
What’s cracking, yo. Lemme be the first to officially welcome yo’ll motherfuckers to my brand new joint – Scrilla Villa. Trailer Trailer Park Boys s7e2: I Banged Lucy & Knocked Her Up … No Big Deal, besuited J-Roc
This seems like an honest gig. ibid. Lucy working for J-Roc
I’m gonna find out who banged Lucy and gave her a baby. ibid. Ricky
A moment of weakness … I banged Randy. ibid. Lucy
Some sort of a crazy liquor cheeseburger party, Ricky. Trailer Park Boys s7e3: Three Good Men are Dead, Bubbles
You bang the stupidest guys – I don’t get it – Randy and George … ibid. Ricky
Ray is driving me to Maine to make a little money on scrap and I’m going to that train convention I told you about … (Gangs: Canada & Nova Scotia & Trailers & Mockumentaries) Trailer Park Boys s7e4: Friends of the Road, Ricky reads Bubbles’ note
Where’s your buddy? That cool guy with the glasses? ibid. Sebastian Bach
With this [Patrick Swayze’s personal model train]. We’re gonna run a track through the woods and across the border and load the weed on to the freight carts. It’s going to be easy. Trailer Park Boys s7e5: The Mustard Tiger
They’re [Jacob et al] just too fucking stupid to survive. Trailer Park Boys s7e6: We Can’t Call People Without Wings Angels So We Call Them Friends, Ricky
The dream is real: me and Randy are having the grand opening of the Dirty Burger today. Trailer Park Boys s7e7: Jump the Cheeseburger, Phil Collins
Janitor Witnesses Swayzie Express Robbery: Janitor Saw ‘Greasy Looking’ Canadians in Parking Lot On Drugs. Swayzie offers $50,000 reward for return of prize model train. Trailer Park Boys s7e8: Let the Liquor do the Thinking, Bangor Daily News front cover
You might be sexy, Julian, but you can’t teach me anything about liquor. Trailer Park Boys s7e9: Going Off the Rails and On the Swayzie Train, Mr Lahey
Ricky and Julian have pretty much everything riding on this one deal. And if you ask me, the whole plan’s fucked. Trailer Park Boys s7e10: A Shit River Runs Through It, Chucky
There’s no such thing as hillbillies up here in the woods. ibid. rozzer to boys
I was meant to be a drunk trailer park supervisor. ibid. Mr Lahey
I always wanted one of those bars like that TV show Cheers where everybody knows your name and now I have one. Julian’s Sports Bar and Gym. Trailer Park Boys s8e1: Money Can Suck My Cock, Ricky
I’m not talking about illegal stuff. Maybe a little bit. Trailer Park Boys s8e2: The Fuckin’ V-Team, Julian to Barbara
You’re like a mother to most of us. You just can’t give up on everyone. ibid.
I need to hire some new employees for the Barb. Strippers. I’m going to take it up a few notches. Trailer Park Boys s8e3: The Dirty Dancer, Julian
I should be out putting flyers out for my Shed n Breakfast. Look at this. Grand opening. I got half price on Kitty Day Care coupons. All you eat pancake breakfast coupons … Trailer Park Boys s8e4: Orangie’s Pretty Fuckin’ Tough, Bubbles
You should be wearing your crystals like Julian. It’ll change your life. Trailer Park Boys s8e5: Whore-A-Geddon, Barbara
Theresa, would you come up please and help a customer with crabs who needs some crab ointment. Trailer Park Boys s8e6: Friends with the Benedicts, pharmacy dude over tannoy
I wish we were friends, Julian. ibid. Mr Lahey
Come on, Randers. I’ve gotta boner for you, man. Trailer Park Boys s8e7: Community Service and a Boner Made With Love, Mr Lahey
You said you needed a full-on oil refinery, right? Trailer Park Boys s8e8: The Super Duper Industrial Bubbles Honey Oil Inator, Julian to Ricky
Cross my heart, Cyrus and Sam are not going to get my 1%. Trailer Park Boys s8e9: Righties Loosies, Lefties Tighties, Mr Lahey
Do you know, Julian, right now you remind my of Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard. ibid.
It’s better to have a gun and need it than not have a gun and not need it. Trailer Park Boys s8e10: Crawling Through the Shitpipe, Ricky
I might not be hard as I thought I was, dog. ibid. J-Roc in jail
Sunnyvale Retirement Community: Come grow young with us. Trailer Park Boys s9e1: Why in the Fuck is my Trailer Pink? park sign
Ricky, this is not a stable environment for a young lady about to have a baby. Trailer Park Boys s9e2: A Stable Fucking Environment, rozzer
Everyone has to follow the rules, Jim, without exception. That’s how wars are won. ibid. Colonel
You’re not going to have your baby in a goddamned barn. Trailer Park Boys s9e3: Anointed in Liquor, Ricky to Trinity
My time at Sunnyvale has come to an end. Trailer Park Boys s9e4: George Green: Industrial Cock Inhaler, Julian
Oh for Christ sake, we look forward to Taco Tuesday extra week. It’s all we’ve got. Don’t fuck it up, El Sexico. Trailer Park Boys s9e5: The Motel Can’t Live at the Motel, old lady to Julian
I want to launch a three-pronged attack … We gotta get Lahey back on the booze … We have to devalue Sunnyvale … We have to increase the value of this place [motel]. Trailer Park Boys s9e6: Sweet Liquory Load, Julian
You will address me as Colonel. I did not do four tours of duty in the Gulf to be disrespected by some hairy-ass bowling ball. Trailer Park Boys s9e7: Piss, Colonel to Randy
I know what I’m doing, Julian. Trust me. Trailer Park Boys s9e8: A Dancer for Money, Ricky
It’s not the liquor. It’s the men. ibid. Sarah