Not offensive because it’s nature, educational. The Office US s2e2: Sexual Harassment, Michael
Not offensive because that’s how they talk in movies. The Office US s2e3: Office Olympics, Michael
There are ten rules in business that you need to learn. Number one: you need to play to win but also have to win to play. The Office US s2e4: The Fire
We’re really interested in most in jobs that take Dwight out of state. The Office US s2e5: Halloween, Jim
Where is my desk? The Office US s2e6: The Fight, Dwight
Michael tends to procrastinate a bit whenever he has to do work. ibid.
He [Michael] loves the way he looks in those jeans. I know that’s why he’s started casual Fridays. The Office US s2e7: The Client, Pam
They just don’t get much work done when I’m not here. ibid.
Do you do her? ibid. Dwight to Michael, re Jan
This is just our first fight. ibid. Michael to Jan
Did you learn that on the streets? The Office US s2e8: Performance Review, Michael to Stanley
I heard they made out and had sex. ibid. Kevin
lease don’t smell me, Michael. ibid. Jan
The IT tech guy and me did not get off to a great start. The Office US s2e9: E-mail Surveillance, Michael
There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. ibid. Dwight
He is a good guy, not a terrorist. ibid. Michael, re IT guy
Christmas bonus. Three thousand Gs. I got this for helping save the company money. The Office US s2e10: Christmas Party, Michael
This is not just another party; this is a leadership training exercise. The Office US s2e11: Booze Cruise, Michael
You burnt your foot on a Foreman grill? The Office US s2e12: The Injury, Jim to Michael
I just want to be treated normally today. ibid. Michael
You’re job is being my friend, Pam. ibid.
Meredith – men’s room, make sure you replace the urinal cakes, they’re worn down. The Office US s2e13: The Secret, Dwight’s chores assignments
And that is why I intend on keeping that secret for as long as I possible can. ibid.
I get ten vacation days a year and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. And this year I got to the third week in January. The Office US s2e14: The Carpet, Pam
Studies show that today’s woman, the Ally McBeal woman as I call her, is at a crossroads. The Office US s2e15: Boys and Girls
Judging by her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore. ibid. Angela
Me in New York? I own that city. The Office US s2e16: Valentine’s Day
What is a business? ibid. Michael’s management presentation
I don’t like to be cooped up in that office, in that box, all day long … because I need to think. The Office US s2e17: Dwight’s speech, Michael
This is Creed and he’s in charge of … something. The Office US s2e18: Take Your Daughter to Work Day, Michael
Raise your hand if you want to get rich? … It’s not a pyramid scheme. The Office US s2e19: Michael’s Birthday, Michael
I like the people I work with generally. With four exceptions. The Office US s2e20: Drug Testing, Dwight
ID badges are long overdue. The Office US s2e21: Conflict Resolution, Dwight
With win-win-win we all win. ibid. Michael
Cage matches – they work; how can they not work? ibid.
I’m a roulette expert. The Office US: s2e22: Casino Night, Pam
Mike, I am not having fire-eaters in a paper warehouse. ibid. Darryl
Toby: He’s attracted to other men.
Michael: OK. A little too far. Crossed the line. The Office US s3e1: Gay Witch Hunt
You don’t call retarded people retards. ibid. Michael
I want you to look into how much a little Chinese baby would cost. The Office US s3e2: The Convention
Did you hear? Pam’s back on the market again. ibid. Kevin
Movie Monday started with training videos. The Office US s3e3: The Coup, Pam
I want the branch. ibid. Dwight to Jan
I’ll be in my office in case anyone wants to drop by and cheer me up. The Office US s3e4: Grief Counseling
Today at 4 p.m. we will be meeting in the parking lot to have a funeral for this bird. ibid.
Never ever ever sleep with your boss. I am so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base. The Office US s3e5: Initiation
And just as you have planted your seed in the ground I am going to plant my seed in you. ibid. Dwight to Ryan down on the farm
Indians do not eat monkey brains. And if they do, sign me up. The Office US s3e6: Diwali, Michael
I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch. The Office US s3e7: Branch Closing, Jan
It’s over. We are screwed. ibid. Michael
I am not going to take this lying down. ibid.
I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther. The Office US s3e8: The Merger, Dwight
You are very exotic looking. Was your dad a GI? ibid. Michael to new female arrival
People hate people who are different from them. That’s natural. ibid. Michael
Dwight may have won the battle but I will win … the next battle. ibid. Andy
Why did the convict have to be the black guy? It’s such a stereotype. The Office US s3e9: The Convict, Michael
I had Martin explain to me three times what he got arrested for because it sounds an awful lot like what I do here every day. ibid.
We Schrutes use every part of the goose. The Office US s3e10&11: Benihana Christmas, Dwight
Michael: Carol, you walk out that door and it’s over.
Carol: I know. ibid.
You are not as much fun as your Jamaican brothers, mon. The Office US s3e12: Back from Vacation, Michael to Stanley
That’s all I’m going to say … Sex … We had sex. ibid. Michael
My psychiatrist thinks that I have some self-destructive tendencies. ibid. Jan to Michael
Well guess what, I’m not falling in a chocolate river. The Office US s3e13: Travelling Vacation, Andy
You know what they say – Fool me once, strike one. ibid. Michael
How would I describe myself? Three words. Hard-working alpha-male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable. The Office US s3e14: The Return, Dwight’s job interview
I think we should celebrate Oscar’s Mexicanity. ibid. Michael