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We are here to say goodbye to our brothers and sisters, to our fathers and mothers, to our friends, our fellow men and women who set aside their differences to fight together and die together so that others might live. Everyone in this world owes them a debt that can never be repaid. It is our duty and our honour to keep them alive in memory for those who come after us and those who come after them for as long as men draw breath. They were the shields that guarded the realms of men and we shall never see their like again. Game of Thrones s8e4: The Last of the Starks, Jon Snow, HBO 2019
We are gathered here tonight in our back yard to commemorate the second death of the Baron. What We Do in the Shadows s1e7: The Trial, BBC 2019
Here lies one who for medicines would not give
A little gold, and so his life he lost;
I fancy now he’d wish again to live,
Could he but guess how much his funeral cost. Anonymous
Courbet painted an even more impressive example of his sympathy with ordinary people – his enormous picture of a funeral ... Courbet achieves a feeling of equality in the presence of death. Kenneth Clark, Civilisation 13/13: Heroic Materialism, BBC 1969
Bercovicz & Co: Why Go On Living When We Can Bury You For $49.50. Once Upon a Time in America ***** 1984 starring Robert De Niro & James Woods & Joe Pesci & Elizabeth McGovern & Burt Young & Tuesday Weld & Treat Williams et al, director Sergio Leone
Ten police riot vans supervised the wake. One hundred policemen blocked the roads for the cortege. A Very British Gangster 2007 starring Dominic Noonan et al, director Donal MacIntyre
I want a military funeral. And I am entitled to have one free of charge. Dog Day Afternoon 1975 starring Al Pacino & John Cazale & Charles Durning & James Broderick & Lance Henriksen & Chris Sarandon & Penelope Allen & Carole Kane et al, director Sidney Lumet, Sonny’s will
I didn’t attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. Mark Twain, misattributed, possibly Ebenezer Hoar 1884
Of all
The fools who flock’d to swell or see the show
Who car’d about the corpse? The funeral
Made the attraction, and the black the woe;
There throbb’d not there a thought which pierc’d the pall. Lord Byron, Vision of Judgment, st10
I thought like we should have floral tributes but all I could find was this carrot. So I borrowed Rick’s biro – yeah, and I wrote on it: Sorry about everything being a bit of a bummer you know what with you dying and everything. But it could have been worse. You could have me, and ended up having a bad time all of the time. The Young Ones: Nasty, Neil to gang in graveyard carrying coffin, BBC 1984
I still don’t see why we have to dig the grave, carry the coffin, and everything else. ibid. Vyvyan
Neil: We can’t bury Rick alive.
Vyvyan: That’s absolutely correct, Neil. We’d better kill him first. ibid.
There was a gigantic noise: firewood being split. A wooden platform had been built by the edge of the ghat, just above the water; logs were piled up on the platform, and men with axes were smashing the logs. Chunks of wood were being built into funeral pyres on the steps of the ghat that went down into the water; four bodies were burning on the ghat steps when we got there. We waited our turn ...
I have mentioned that my mother’s body was wrapped in a satin cloth. This cloth was now pulled over her face; and logs of wood, as many as we could pay for, were piled on top of the body. Then the priest set my mother on fire ...
As the fire ate away the satin, a pale foot jerked out, like a living thing; the toes, which were melting in the heat, began to curl up, offering resistance to what was being done to them. Aravind Adiga, The White Tiger pp16-17
Oh hello, darling, here’s a nice surprise to find you here. Not bad, thank you, darling. It was very emotional but I’m all right. [removes coat] Oh it was beautiful. Church was packed. She had seven cars following her. Seven. I didn’t think she knew that many people. And you want to see the food they laid on. It was out of this world. Yeah I’m all right for the minute thanks. I had a couple of Guinness when we came back from the ground ... She was out there mopping that landing ... No I had a little something while I was there, love. A nice plate of boiled bacon, and potato salad, bowl of jellied eels, nice bit of crusty bread, a couple of sausage rolls, do don’t like to be rude ... I suppose it’ll be me next ... She owed me money. She owed me money the woman. I gave her fifteen quid beginning of last week, she never give it back. What a fucking liberty! That’s typical of her that is. Not fucking much she didn’t ... Artful cow! Fifteen quid. I sent a wreath. It gets worse ... I don’t want your money. Don’t you dare. I’ve got more money than the lot of ya ... Any more talk like that and I shall leave it all to the cats’ home. Ahhhhhha! What about them gells who leave all their money to the cats’ home! Oh that do make me laugh! What do the cats wants with it? What do they care? They’re fucking cats! What they gunno do? Go on a cruise? ... They’re fucking cats. Ahhhha! Yeah lovely there’s a good boy put the kettle on ... The Catherine Tate Show series II, Nan returns, BBC 2005
If you want to see what your friends and family think of you, die broke and see who comes to your funeral. Gregory Nunn
True friends appear less mov’d than counterfeit; as men that grieve at funerals are not so loud as those that cry for hire. Horace
She was just a mean old hateful bitch. Bernie 2013 starring Jack Black & Shirley MacLaine & Matthew McConaughey & Brady Coleman & Ricard Robichaux & Rick Dial & Brandon Smith & Larry Jack Dotson & Merrilee McCommas & Mathew Greer & Gabriel Luna et al, director Richard Linklater, woman on McLaine
She was just more evil than he was nice. ibid. bloke
Bernie is going to need our prayers. ibid. minister
The funeral home business was born. Now we no longer see death in a familiar setting. Penn & Teller, Bullshit! s2e9: Death Inc, Showtime 2004
The funeral isn’t for the dead; it’s for the living. ibid.
Spare me the whispering, crowded room,
The friends who come and gape and go,
The ceremonious air of gloom –
All which makes death a hideous show. Matthew Arnold
The pomp of funerals has more regard to the vanity of the living than the honour of the dead. Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Mourners at a chapel of rest in Belgium were horrified when a mobile phone range inside a coffin. The undertaker had forgotten to take it out of the deceased’s clothing. Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! 2006
I’ve had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother-in-law’s funeral. And she’s cancelled it. Les Dawson
And when they buried him the little port
Had seldom seen a costlier funeral. Alfred Lord Tennyson, Enoch Arden
Nearly every family is ripped off by nearly every mortician in every community in the US. Father Henry Soleski
Thrift, Thrift, Horatio! The funeral baked meats
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables. William Shakespeare, Hamlet I ii 179-180, Hamlet to Horatio
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading – treading – till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through –
And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum –
Kept beating – beating – till I thought
My Mind was going numb –
And then I heard them lift a Box
And creak across my Soul
With those same Boots of Lead, again,
Then Space – began to toll,