The Church seems myopically serious that the prospect of spending the rest of eternity with every dithering family aunt and dodgy uncle is a great attraction. I’d rather spend eternity with a bowl of blackcurrant jello than most of my family past and present.
We adopt when forced to spend time with our TBM relatives a stoical, silent dignity, and for some on this board the pressure is so bad that adopting a dignified silence smacks of the heroic.
Families forever? Forget it.
‘Far from being the basis of the good society, the family, with its narrow privacy and tawdry secrets, is the source of all our discontents.’ (Edmund Leach, BBC Reith Lecture 1967) esias, RFM board post 29th July 2013, ‘The Root of All Discontent: Families’
I was expelled from a meeting of Latter Day Saints when I first went to Salt Lake City ... You will be with your families for ever – so I put my hand up and said, ‘But what happens if you’ve been good?’ ... What a ridiculous idea ... It’s just the most awful destination imaginable. Stephen Fry’s Mormon Encounter
Consider yourself at home
Consider yourself one of the family. Oliver! 1968 starring Ron Moody & Oliver Reed & Shani Wallis & Harry Secombe & Mark Lester & Peggy Mount & Leonard Rossiter & Kenneth Cranham & Hugh Griffith & Jack Wild et al, director Carol Reed, Artful Dodger to Oliver
My whole family won’t talk to me on the advice of Counsel. The Office US s4e7: Money I, Jan to Michael, NBC 2007
Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself. H L Mencken
The womeny warmth of my family. Cider with Rosie ***** 2015 starring Samantha Mortin & Archie Cox & Ruby Ashbourne Serkis & Emma Curtis & Jessica Hynes & June Whitfield & Annette Crosbie & Timothy Spall & Billy Howle & Georgie Smith et al, director Philippa Lowthorpe, BBC 2015
Jesus’ family values, it has to be admitted, were not such as one might wish to focus on. He was short, to the point of brusqueness, with his own mother, and he encouraged his disciples to abandon their families to follow him. Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion p250
But I can’t help detesting my relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves. Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
Family meetings used to be all of us. Together. Now me and John are just fucking pigmen whose duty it is to obey. Peaky Blinders s3e3, Arthur, BBC 2016
Welcome to the family, Gina Grey. Peaky Blinders s5e2: Black Cats, Polly, BBC 2019
Are you going to bark all day, you little dog you, or are you going to bite? The Wolfpack, brothers re-enact Reservoir Dogs in flat, Sundance 2015
I write down the lines of the entire film, what each character says. ibid.
If I didn’t have movies, life would be pretty boring, and there wouldn’t be any point to go on. ibid.
We were kind of shut off, always living in this apartment in New York, lower east side Manhattan. ibid.
We got like 5,000 movies … There’s another world out there … The movies helped us create our own kind of world. ibid.
Our dad was the only one who had the keys to the front door. ibid.
We decided to go as a group together alone for the first time. ibid.
There were probably more rules for me than there were for them. ibid. mother
Swat teams … put us against the wall and handcuffed every member of our family. They had a search warrant. For possession of weapons. ibid. son
I just can’t talk to him [father] any more. ibid.
This rejection of the nuclear family was born of an intellectual analysis which saw the family as an essential unit of the capitalist society. Lefties I: Property is Theft, BBC 2017
When you’re in the middle of a story it isn’t a story at all but only a confusion. Dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass and splintered wood. Like a house in a whirlwind or else a boat crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids. And all aboard are powerless to stop it. It’s only afterwards that it becomes anything like a story at all when you’re telling it to yourself. Or to someone else. Stories We Tell, 2012
Every family has a story. ibid.
Mum was doing plays. And she met Michael in one of those plays. ibid.
Dad says mum wanted sex a lot more than he did. ibid.
This marriage had grown stale … He knew he disappointed her. ibid.
One day someone said Sarah did not look at all like her father. ibid.
This actor in the play might have been the father. ibid.
It’s hard to explain to people there’s no grand plan. My Flesh and Blood, Susan, 2003
‘These kids were mine with all their troubles, with all their foibles, with all, whatever, these kids were mine.’ ibid.
They really are a gift. ibid.
Living at home now are nine of the kids with differing degrees of disability. ibid.
Mine would say fat, lots of kids … let’s get the fat bit out of the way … ibid. online dating site
This is a hard family to live with. ibid. troublesome son
Some of the most brutal murders are committed by kids against family members. Killer Kids s3e19: All in the Family, Biography 2014
Fucking Laurel and Hardy for a fucking family. Sweet Sixteen 2002 starring Martin Compston & Annmarie Fulton & William Ruane & Junior Walker & Michelle Abercromby & Michelle Coulter & Tommy McKee & Gary McCormack & Calum McAlees et al, director Ken Loach, fellow prison visitor
The family is one of the most powerful forces in nature. Family life is full of wonder, beauty and drama. David Attenborough, Dynasties I: Chimpanzees, BBC 2018
Our families love and protect us. And you can always trust them. But what if one of your nearest and dearest committed the ultimate act of betrayal. Every year millions of pounds are being stolen from us. By our own flesh and blood. Welcome to the world where families steal from each other. Robbing Your Relatives s1e1, Channel 5 2018
There has been a dramatic increase in family fraud in Britain in the last few years leaving families devastated. ibid.
Tonight: the man who conned tens of thousand from his parents to fuel an out of control gambling addiction; the woman who lost her inheritance to the man she loved; and the son who stole over £120,000 from him mom, leaving her facing eviction from her own home. Robbing Your Relatives s1e2
Family fraud against the elderly is perhaps the most shocking and common type of family theft. ibid.
They work hard and spend even harder. Britain’s flashiest families can’t resist splashing their cash. It’s a life where money is simply no object. Where one supercar is never enough, where mansions are multi-million pound, and even pets get five-star treatment. Britain’s Flashiest Families, Channel 5 2018
‘I did buy five Porches in one month.’ ibid. Supercar Nigel
‘Oscar’s [dog] wardrobe is completely amazing.’ ibid. rich lady
Bum slimming, and a one hundred grand designer bed. ibid.
Someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family. Breaking Bad s4e6: Cornered, Skyler to Walter, AMC 2011
What I do, I do for my family. Breaking Bad s5e15: Granite State, Frank to Saul
I love that this is my home and I grew up here. We are all so close. Kingdom of Us, Jamie-Jodie, Netflix 2017
There’s seven of you [children]. We live in a wonderful house. At a wonderful time. And you have all got a very bright future. ibid. dad’s home video
I think I realised how bad it was getting [Dad’s bipolar] around the time Pippa was born. ibid. mum
When mum told us, you don’t know how to take it, you kind of like scream. ibid. daughter
He cut his left wrist and his throat. ibid. mum
He was a scary person but he was nice as well. ibid. son
Paul’s behaviour was becoming ever more erratic. ibid. mum
Tonight: stealing from your own grandparents. The crooks ripping off vulnerable relatives. It’s a cruel crime that’s destroying families. And are current legal safeguards really good enough? Tonight: Elderly Theft: Robbing the Relatives, ITV 2017