Words come tuppence a thousand. ibid. Elizabeth to Rayleigh
Adventure is for the brainless. Or should be. ibid. Elizabeth
Elizabeth I of England was impossible. She flirted outrageously with her courtiers, she threw tantrums, vacillated, changed her mind and was absurdly vain. But I believe Elizabeth made England what it is: she fought against English fanaticism, had founded our tradition of tolerance. She beat off the Spanish Armada and won this island the respect afforded to great powers. Great Britons: Elizabeth I, Michael Portillo, BBC 2002
Elizabeth loathed religious bigotry ... She refused to enforce anti-Catholic laws pushed forward by parliament. ibid.
When Dudley’s wife died in suspicious circumstances the scandal blew around Elizabeth and Dudley with hurricane force. ibid.
The Pope excommunicated her and declared that to kill her would be a lawful and holy act. ibid.
For thirty years Elizabeth kept England out of wars. ibid.
This is the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in our eyes. Elizabeth I, November 1588
Though I be a woman yet I have as good a courage answerable to my place as ever my father had. I am your anointed Queen. I will never be by violence constrained to do anything. I thank God I am endued with such qualities that if I were turned out of the Realm in my petticoat I were able to live in any place in Christendom. Elizabeth I, response to parliament October 1566
I will make you shorter by the head. Elizabeth, October 1566
God may forgive you, but I never can. Elizabeth I to Countess of Nottingham, cited David Hume II:7
I do not want a husband who honours me as a queen if he does not love me as a woman. Elizabeth I, attributed
I am come among you as you see at this time not for my recreation and disport but being resolved in the midst and the heat of battle to live and die amongst you all. To lay down for my God and for my kingdom and for my people my honour and my blood even in the dust. I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but I have the heart and the stomach of a king, and a king of England too; and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realm. Elizabeth I, Tilbury Docks
There will never Queen sit in my seat with more zeal to my country, care to my subjects and that will sooner with willingness venture her life for your good and safety than myself. For it is my desire to live nor reign no longer than my life and reign shall be for your good. And though you have had, and may have, many princes more mighty and wise sitting in this seat, yet you never had nor shall have, any that will be more careful and loving. Elizabeth I
I think that, at the worst, God has not yet ordained that England shall perish. Elizabeth I
All my possessions for a moment in time. Elizabeth I
A time when England embraced the whole world. Dr Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Elizabethan England I: The Common People, BBC 2013
A continual struggle to survive. ibid.
Everyone in Elizabethan England hates atheists. ibid.
The famine devastates the country. ibid.
There are just so many diseases you can catch. ibid.
One in twelve of the population dies of flu. ibid.
Witchcraft ... is recognised in law ... Even the clergy employ witches. ibid.
This is a world of distress, disease and deprivation. Dr Ian Mortimer, The Time Traveller's Guide to Elizabethan England II: The Rich
Those who have the most also have the most to lose. ibid.
A labourer in Elizabeth’s reign can expect to earn 4d per day – not enough for food for his family and himself, let alone clothes and other requirements. ibid.
Fashions become steadily more lavish. ibid.
The Progresses form a vital part of Elizabeth’s queenship. ibid.
From the ranks of the gentry the magistrates and sheriffs are drawn. ibid.
Careless words are your Achilles’ heel; there are informers everywhere. ibid.
The Star Chamber is an elite court made up of members of the Privy Council. ibid.
It is Elizabethans that pioneered state-authorised torture. ibid.
The bad news is that actually there are simply hundreds of Catholics who desperately want their heads sneaked off and there’s no-one to organise it. Blackadder II: Head, Elizabeth to Blackadder, BBC 1986
Right then let’s take a look shall we – who’s first in the head basket? ibid. Blackadder to Percy
Right, good morning, team, my name is Edward Blackadder and I’m the new minister in charge of religious genocide. ibid. Blackadder
Ointment, that’s what you need when you’re head’s been cut off. ibid. Nursie
As private parts to the gods are we; they play with us for their sport. Blackadder II: Chains, Melchett to Blackadder in dungeons
Yes, I was one of his sheep. ibid. Ludvig to Melchett
Life – overrated I reckon. ibid. Blackadder to Melchett
Oh what joy. See how you collapse before me, you great incorruptible English knobs. So proud of your great big stiff upper lips. ibid. Ludvig to Blackadder & Melchett
Ah, Queen Elizabeth, we meet again. ibid. Ludvig
Madam, life without you is like a broken pencil. Pointless. ibid. Blackadder to Elizabeth
Percy, the return of Sir Walter – ‘Ooh what a big ship I’ve got’ – Raleigh is a matter of supreme indifference to me. Blackadder II: Potato, Blackadder
To you it’s a potato; to me it’s a potato. But to Sir Walter bloody Raleigh it’s a country estate, five carriages and as many girls as his tongue can cope with. He’s making a fortune out of the things: people are smoking them, building houses out of them, they’ll be eating them next. ibid. Blackadder
So where’s this barnacle-bottomed haddock-flavoured bilge rat Sir rather a wally Raleigh then? ibid. Blackadder to Elizabeth, with Melchett and Nursie
You see, Baldrick, when I was a baby I was savaged by a turbot. ibid. Percy to Baldrick
Is Captain Rum joining us for this ‘bring a sample’ party? ibid. Blackadder to Percy, with Baldrick
I am the baby-eating Bishop of Bath & Wells! Blackadder II: Money, Bishop to Blackadder
Our motto is repayment or revenge ... I will have my money by evensong tonight or your bottom will wish it had never been born. ibid.
I consider myself one of England’s finest liars. ibid. Blackadder to Percy, with Baldrick
My father blew it all on wine, women and amateur dramatics. ibid.
Baldrick, are you suggesting that I become a rent boy? ibid. Blackadder
A chat with you and somehow death loses its sting. ibid. Blackadder to Baldrick
You think there’s a market for jewellery that looks like snot then? ibid. Blackadder to Percy
No form of sexual depravity is too low for me. ibid. Bishop of Bath & Wells to Blackadder, with Baldrick
You fiend. Never have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity. Have you ever considered a career in the church? ibid.
We are having two parties here tonight. And they must be kept completely separate. Firstly, a total piss-up involving beer throwing, broken furniture and wall to wall vomiting ... Percy will join me in here for the gourmet turnip evening. Blackadder II: Beer, Blackadder to Baldrick & Percy
Chairs are an invention of Satan. In our house Nathaniel sits on a spike. I sit on Nathaniel. Two spikes would be an extravagance. ibid. Aunt to Blackadder et al
I’ll say one thing for Catholics – they do have natural rhythm. ibid. Percy to Aunt & Nathaniel
Elizabeth’s forces launched a policy of scorched earth. Fergal Keane, The Story of Ireland 2/5, BBC 2011
Some 30,000 Irish lost their lives, many to famine. ibid.