Then, as a finale, they went to a member’s farm and a married couple with a baby were dressed as Mary, Joseph and Jesus and the Young Women stood in the cold as the trio in the sheltered barn related the Christmas story to them, then they all ate the cookies that the door shutters refused.
Several of the door shutters and Young Women leaders went up and carried on about what a spiritual lesson this was, how hard it was to shut out these confused, hurt Young Women’s and how we should all let the gospel in our lives instead of turning away Jesus/his representatives.
What a dirty trick! I think this one belongs with the licked cupcake/chewed gum stories. Clever Pup, RFM board post 6th January 2009, ‘Shocking Cruel Young Women’s Lesson’
After dark, we were led to an area, and told to put on a blindfold. After a feeble argument I complied.
Then my hand was placed on a round PVC pipe. I was told to not let go until I heard xxx’s voice. As I was walking along the pipe I heard voices telling me to let go, that all sorts of horrible things were going on around me, and that I had made it so I could let go.
Well, I made it to the end of the pipe trail because I remembered the instruction to not let go until I heard xxx’s voice.
I took off the blindfold and there were several people wearing white robes all happy to tell me that I had made it. There was a big tree all decorated in white lights. Then I was to sit and wait until all the adult unit leaders and the girls had made it to the end.
While I was sitting there I was glad I had made it.
As time went on though, I started to feel as though I had been manipulated. There were girls sitting near me who had made it, but they were wondering what had happened to their friends who were with them.
One girl was sobbing because she couldn’t find her sister.
Later on I found out that the girls who let go of the PVC pipe before the end were taken to an area and given a lecture about what Jesus had done for them. Then they got another turn to hold on and go to the end of the PVC pipe.
Some of the girls had been tricked by their older sisters or friends who were trying to get them to let go.
This went on for hours in the dark and cold. By the time the whole ordeal was over I just wanted to get back to camp and go to sleep. I was feeling very manipulated and used. ORFinn, RFM board post ‘Girls Camp, Faith Promoting Activity’
This morning I want to discuss some of the spiritual lessons we can learn from the process by which a cucumber becomes a pickle. I invite the Holy Ghost to be with us as we consider the significance of those lessons for me and for you as we come unto Christ and are spiritually reborn. David A Bednar, Ye Must Be Born Again or the Parable of the Pickle, general conference April 2007
A flower, picked bare, petal by petal. See how a beautiful flower is ruined when it gives pieces of itself away to boys? So you will be ruined if you give away your petals. (Wow, that’s sort of naught-ily Freudian).
A piece of buttered toast (yum!) – Young Women’s leader licks the butter off of it then offers it to the girls. Do you want to eat toast that someone has licked the butter off of? Do you want to BE the toast that has been licked? Heavens, no. Stay delicious. Stay unlicked.
Beautiful white apron, pure and unsullied, suddenly and viciously attacked by ketchup by Young Women’s leader. Poor ruined apron. Nobody wants a dirty, sullied apron, and nobody wants a dirty, sullied girl. Debra, RMF board post, ‘Our Young Women and Their Precious Virginity’
Our high counselor gave a talk on the Book of Mormon and described approvingly of the most horrible object lesson I have ever heard.
He said that his seminary teacher told the class that he had a dead baby girl underneath a sheet. The class didn’t believe him.
He invited three witnesses to come up and look under the sheet. They came and left shaken and affirmed what he had said.
He invited eight witnesses to come and look underneath the sheet. They left declaring that he had spoken the truth.
He asked the class who believed him now. They all believed him. He applied this to the Book of Mormon witnesses and then removed the sheet and revealed a fetus preserved in formaldehyde in a jar.
WTF! The high counselor drilled into us that in like manner the Book of Mormon witnesses prove it to be true. I felt sick.
How could they objectify a baby girl like that and then self-righteously oppose abortion? How could they make such a sad, sick, and tasteless comparison? In seminary and sacrament meeting with lots of little kids listening?
WTF! This surprised even me. captainmoroni, RMF board post 16th January 2012, ‘Horrible Object Lessons in Sacrament’
In my application of this illustration, the sugar beets represent the members of this Church for whom we who are called as leaders have responsibility; and those that have fallen out of the truck represent men and women, youth and children who, for whatever reason, have fallen from the path of activity. Paraphrasing the farmer’s comments concerning the sugar beets, I say of these souls, precious to our Father and our Master: ‘There’s just as much value in those who have slipped off. Let’s go back and get them!’ First Presidency message Ensign July 2009
My last calling in church was in Young Women’s. There is no organization in the church, perhaps in the world, I believe, so fond of object lessons – most of them having to do with ‘virtue’ or, more to the point, the loss thereof.
You know what I am talking about: The teacher gets up one Sunday with a bouquet of beautiful white roses. During her lesson she sends one of these flowers around the room with an invitation to all to take a minute and feel the rose, maybe take a petal, to enjoy it for a moment and pass it on. We all do this and by the end of class the rose is back in the teacher’s possession looking much worse for the wear. We are then invited to pick a flower to take home and no-one picks the one we passed around. No-one wants ‘damaged goods’. Or, in a similar lesson, the teacher offers us a choice of gum, the wad from her mouth or a fresh stick from the pack. A Young Men’s leader brings in a board into which he invites the young men to hammer a number of nails. During the lesson the young men are allowed to remove the nails from the board, but it is pointed out that the holes still remain.
I admit to a fondness for a good analogy or parable, but these stories about chewed bubblegum and nailed boards and wounded roses, meant to convince the young and innocent youth to protect themselves from the evils of the world, have long rubbed me the wrong way. Chiefly, my discomfort with these stories comes from my understanding of Christianity. If there is an atonement (and I am a want-to-believe-er) the beauty and miracle of that event is that Christ’s death is meant to make the unclean, clean – the scarlet sins as white as snow. It troubles me that people who claim to believe in the atonement put so much emphasis on the permanent scars left by youthful sins. Tierza, board post 24th March 2011, ‘Object Lessons and Other Horror Stories’
Today is the 5th Sunday so the bishopric split up and each presented a ‘speshul’ lesson to the adults, youth, and kids. My 10 year old son told me that the counselor gave a presentation where he scooped out various flavors of ice cream and toppings into a bowl, creating a beautiful sundae. Of course he had their complete attention, with each hoping for a taste. He told the kids that they are like this bowl of ice cream. (???) Then he pulled out a bag of potting soil and proceeded to scoop the dirt on top of the sundae, telling them that this is what they are like when they do something bad. He asked if anyone still wanted to eat the sundae, with the object lesson apparently being that they are each just little piles of crap if they aren't perfect little morgbots. He finished with some confusing explanation of the bishop having a ‘magic vacuum’ that can clean the dirt off again.
My son was animated telling me about all this since it was out of the ordinary and worth sharing, but I could tell it bothered him as well. I sat him down and told him that he will never, ever, ever, in my eyes, be like a bowl of ice cream covered with dirt. I told him that we’re all different, we each follow different paths, we all make mistakes, and all we can do in life is try our best. He melted with relief at the reassurance from this expression of unconditional love.
I’m really feeling angry at this obvious child abuse. You’re all asking why I let him attend, and it’s because he also has a mother who is ultra-TBM. It’s a tough situation. I feel like the best I can do is offer damage control each week. 2thdoc, RFM board post 1st June 2009, ‘Today’s Primary Lesson’
Glory is like a circle in the water,
Which never ceaseth to enlarge itself
Till, by broad spreading, it disperses to naught. William Shakespeare, The First Part of Henry the Sixth I iii 112-114
This lad lad has more checkouts than Tesco’s. He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. Sid Waddell
That’s like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank. Sid Waddell
Steve Beaton – the Adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance – a true Roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax. Sid Waddell
The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips … you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them. Sid Waddell
He’s as cool as a prized marrow. Sid Waddell
I’m like a pig in Chardonnay. Stephen Fry, darts co-commentator with Sid Waddell
For making metaphors concrete, for making them solid and allowing you to look at the things that are intangible; you’re taking a fantastical idea and you’re taking it seriously, but you’re also allowing it to comment on the world in a way that you can’t. Neil Gaiman, cited Andrew Marr, Sleuths, Spies & Sourcerers II, BBC 2016
We’ve grasped the nettle and we’ve taken it on board. House of Cards UK, education minister at party conference, BBC 1990