One evening in October, when I was one-third sober,
An’ taking home a ‘load’ with manly pride;
My poor feet began to stutter, so I lay down in the gutter,
And a pig came up an’ lay down by my side;
Then we sang, ‘It's all fair weather when good fellows get together,’
Till a lady passing by was heard to say:
‘You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses,’
And the pig got up and slowly walked away. Benjamin Hapwood Burt, The Famous Pig Son
Balmy fluid? I’ll have some of that. The Comic Strip Presents ... Mr Jolly Lives Next Door, Mayall & Edmunson in morg, Channel 4 1988
Cheers. Let’s hear it for the beer. All hail to the ale! Al Murray: The Pub Landlord: ‘My Gaff, My Rules’, London’s Playhouse Theatre
Rules is rules. It’s pint for the fellah, glass of white wine, fruit-based drink for the lady. Those are the rules. If we didn’t have rules then where would we be? That’s right. France. ibid.
Our drink shall be prepared gold and amber;
Which we will take, until my roof whirl around
With the vertigo; and my dwarf shall dance. Ben Jonson, Volpone, 1606
Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss but in the cup,
And I’ll not look for wine. Ben Jonson, To Celia, 1616
A drink [champagne] that tasted, she thought, like weak vinegar mixed with a packet of pins. (Alcohol & Champagne & Drink) H G Wells, Joan and Peter: The Story of an Education
The labouring poor, in spite of double pay,
Are saucy, mutinous, and beggarly;
So lavish of their money and their time,
That want of forecast is the nation’s crime.
Good drunken company is their delight;
And what they get by day they spend by night.
Dull thinking seldom does their heads engage,
But drink their youth away, and hurry on old age. Daniel Defoe, The True-Born Englishman
Let me tell you, Balram. Men drink because they are sick of life. Aravind Adiga, The White Tiger p185
It would be better that England should be free than that England should be compulsorily sober. William Connor Magee, speech to Intoxicating Liquor Bill 2nd May 1872
Those dry Martinis did the work for me;
Last night at twelve I felt immense,
Today I feel like thirty cents.
My eyes are bleared, my coppers hot,
I’ll try to eat, but I cannot.
It is no time for mirth and laughter
The cold, grey dawn of the morning after. George Ade, The Sultan of Sulu act II, 1903
It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety. Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an Opium Eater
I’m really glad my mum never caught me drinking, you know. I’m glad the police never arrested me and took me down to the police station because my mum would have had to get me out and that would have been a fate worse than death. She’d walk in [eyes bulge] ... ‘Where is the criminal? You bring shame and hoo-miliation down on my family [weeps]! You mean to say you is an alcoholic now? You with the three stripes ...’ [beats himself and leaps frantically]. Lenny Henry, on stage
’Tis not the drinking that is to be blamed, but the excess. John Selden, Table Talk, 1689
Candy
Is dandy
But liquor
Is quicker. Ogden Nash, Reflections on Ice-Breaking, 1931
I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on. Oscar Levant
Fill all the glasses here, for why
Should every creature drink but I,
Why, man of morals, tell me why? Abraham Cowley, Drinking, 1656
Have Some Madeira, m’dear. Michael Flanders and Donald Swann, title of song
The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived. Bernard de Voto, 1897-1955, American writer
Claret is the liquor for boys; port, for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy. Samuel Johnson, James Boswell’s Life of Samuel Johnson
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated has not the art of getting drunk. ibid.
There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn. Samuel Johnson
Best while you have it use your breath,
There is no drinking after death. John Fletcher, 1579-1625, The Bloody Brother
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. Frank Sinatra
Basically, I’m for anything that gets you through the night – be it prayer, tranquillizers or a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. Frank Sinatra
I feel sorry for people that don’t drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they are going to feel all day. Frank Sinatra, attributions & variations
I always drink champagne. Best drop of lager money can buy. Harry Enfield as Loadsamoney the Plasterer, Saturday Night Live
Hot livers, and cold purses. William Shakespeare, I Henry IV II v 326, Prince Harry to Russell et al
Wherein is he good, but to taste sack and drink it? ibid. II v 460, Prince Harry to Sir John
If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the wicked! ibid. II iv
A good sherry-sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me into the brain, dries me there all the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it, makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery and delectable shapes, which, delivered o’er to the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second property of your excellent sherry is the warming of the blood, which before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice. But the sherry warms it, and makes it course from the inwards to the parts’ extremes; it illuminateth the face, which as a beacon, gives warning to all the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm ... If I had a thousand sons, the first human principle I would teach them should be to foreswear thin potations, and to addict themselves to sack. William Shakespeare, II Henry IV IV ii 94-121, Sir John to Prince John
Would I were in an alehouse in London. I would give all my fame for a pot of ale, and safety. William Shakespeare, Henry V III ii 12-13, Boy to Pistol et al
For in my youth I never did apply
Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood. William Shakespeare, As You Like It II iii 49-50, Orlando to Adam
For I am falser than vows made in wine. ibid. III v 74, Rosalind
It is a custom
More honoured in the breach than the observance. William Shakespeare, Hamlet I iv 15-16, Hamlet to Horatio
That quaffing and drinking will undo you. William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night I iii 13, Maria to Sir Toby
With drinking healths to my niece. I’ll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria. ibid. I iii 36-38, Sir Toby to Maria
O, he’s drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone. His eyes were set at eight i’ th’ morning. William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night V I 196-197, Feste