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★ Alcohol & Alcoholic

One evening in October, when I was one-third sober,

An’ taking home a ‘load’ with manly pride;

My poor feet began to stutter, so I lay down in the gutter,

And a pig came up an’ lay down by my side;

Then we sang, ‘It's all fair weather when good fellows get together,’

Till a lady passing by was heard to say:

‘You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses,’

And the pig got up and slowly walked away.  Benjamin Hapwood Burt, The Famous Pig Son

 

 

Balmy fluid?  I’ll have some of that.  The Comic Strip Presents ... Mr Jolly Lives Next Door, Mayall & Edmunson in morg, Channel 4 1988

 

 

Cheers.  Lets hear it for the beer.  All hail to the ale!  Al Murray: The Pub Landlord: My Gaff, My Rules, Londons Playhouse Theatre

 

Rules is rules.  It’s pint for the fellah, glass of white wine, fruit-based drink for the lady.  Those are the rules.  If we didn’t have rules then where would we be?  That’s right.  France.  ibid.   

 

 

Our drink shall be prepared gold and amber;

Which we will take, until my roof whirl around

With the vertigo; and my dwarf shall dance.  Ben Jonson, Volpone, 1606

 

 

Drink to me only with thine eyes,

And I will pledge with mine;

Or leave a kiss but in the cup,

And I’ll not look for wine.  Ben Jonson, To Celia, 1616

 

 

A drink [champagne] that tasted, she thought, like weak vinegar mixed with a packet of pins.  (Alcohol & Champagne & Drink)  H G Wells, Joan and Peter: The Story of an Education

 

 

The labouring poor, in spite of double pay,

Are saucy, mutinous, and beggarly;

So lavish of their money and their time,

That want of forecast is the nation’s crime.

Good drunken company is their delight;

And what they get by day they spend by night.

Dull thinking seldom does their heads engage,

But drink their youth away, and hurry on old age.  Daniel Defoe, The True-Born Englishman

 

 

Let me tell you, Balram.  Men drink because they are sick of life.  Aravind Adiga, The White Tiger p185

 

 

It would be better that England should be free than that England should be compulsorily sober.  William Connor Magee, speech to Intoxicating Liquor Bill 2nd May 1872

 

 

Those dry Martinis did the work for me;

Last night at twelve I felt immense,

Today I feel like thirty cents.

My eyes are bleared, my coppers hot,

I’ll try to eat, but I cannot.

It is no time for mirth and laughter

The cold, grey dawn of the morning after.  George Ade, The Sultan of Sulu act II, 1903

 

 

It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.  Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an Opium Eater

 

 

I’m really glad my mum never caught me drinking, you know.  I’m glad the police never arrested me and took me down to the police station because my mum would have had to get me out and that would have been a fate worse than death.  She’d walk in [eyes bulge] ... ‘Where is the criminal?  You bring shame and hoo-miliation down on my family [weeps]!  You mean to say you is an alcoholic now?  You with the three stripes ...’ [beats himself and leaps frantically].  Lenny Henry, on stage

 

 

’Tis not the drinking that is to be blamed, but the excess.  John Selden, Table Talk, 1689

 

 

Candy

Is dandy

But liquor

Is quicker.  Ogden Nash, Reflections on Ice-Breaking, 1931

 

 

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.  Oscar Levant

 

 

Fill all the glasses here, for why

Should every creature drink but I,

Why, man of morals, tell me why?  Abraham Cowley, Drinking, 1656

 

 

Have Some Madeira, m’dear.  Michael Flanders and Donald Swann, title of song

 

 

The proper union of gin and vermouth is a great and sudden glory; it is one of the happiest marriages on earth, and one of the shortest lived.  Bernard de Voto, 1897-1955, American writer  

 

 

Claret is the liquor for boys; port, for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy.  Samuel Johnson, James Boswell’s Life of Samuel Johnson

 

A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated has not the art of getting drunk.  ibid.

 

 

There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man, by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn.  Samuel Johnson

 

 

Best while you have it use your breath,

There is no drinking after death.  John Fletcher, 1579-1625, The Bloody Brother

 

 

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.  Frank Sinatra

 

 

Basically, I’m for anything that gets you through the night –  be it prayer, tranquillizers or a bottle of Jack Daniel’s.  Frank Sinatra

 

 

I feel sorry for people that don’t drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they are going to feel all day.  Frank Sinatra, attributions & variations

 

 

I always drink champagne.  Best drop of lager money can buy.  Harry Enfield as Loadsamoney the Plasterer, Saturday Night Live

 

 

Hot livers, and cold purses.  William Shakespeare, I Henry IV II v 326, Prince Harry to Russell et al

 

Wherein is he good, but to taste sack and drink it?  ibid.  II v 460, Prince Harry to Sir John

 

If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the wicked!  ibid.  II iv

 

 

A good sherry-sack hath a two-fold operation in it.  It ascends me into the brain, dries me there all the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it, makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery and delectable shapes, which, delivered oer to the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit.  The second property of your excellent sherry is the warming of the blood, which before cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice.  But the sherry warms it, and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extremes; it illuminateth the face, which as a beacon, gives warning to all the rest of this little kingdom, man, to arm ...  If I had a thousand sons, the first human principle I would teach them should be to foreswear thin potations, and to addict themselves to sack.  William Shakespeare, II Henry IV IV ii 94-121, Sir John to Prince John

 

 

Would I were in an alehouse in London.  I would give all my fame for a pot of ale, and safety.  William Shakespeare, Henry V III ii 12-13, Boy to Pistol et al

 

 

For in my youth I never did apply

Hot and rebellious liquors in my blood.  William Shakespeare, As You Like It II iii 49-50, Orlando to Adam

 

For I am falser than vows made in wine.  ibid.  III v 74, Rosalind

 

 

It is a custom

More honoured in the breach than the observance.  William Shakespeare, Hamlet I iv 15-16, Hamlet to Horatio

 

 

That quaffing and drinking will undo you.  William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night I iii 13, Maria to Sir Toby

 

With drinking healths to my niece.  I’ll drink to her as long as there is a passage in my throat and drink in Illyria.  ibid.  I iii 36-38, Sir Toby to Maria

 

O, he’s drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone.  His eyes were set at eight i’ th’ morning.  William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night V I 196-197, Feste

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