There have been hundreds of so-called vampire corpses dug up across Hungary, Romania and neighbouring countries all with similar farm machinery embedded in their skeletons. ibid.
Ours is a country of vampires. Engrenages/Spiral s1e8, Elina, BBC 2011
So it’s 6 p.m. in the nighttime which I when I wake up … I like to hang out with other vampires. What We Do in the Shadows, 2014
I got you this chicken. ibid. to Petyr the flatmate
He’s a really great guy. A bit of a pervert … ibid.
We’re vampires: we don’t put down towels. ibid. house meeting
Vampires have had a really bad rap. ibid.
I was a Nazi vampire. ibid.
We are trying to attract victims to us. ibid.
There are between 60 to 70 vampires in the greater Wellington region. ibid.
You have to drink human blood. I like to make an real evening of it. Play some music, maybe give them some nice wine … ibid.
My favourite food: I can’t eat chips. ibid. Nick
It’s just this big homo-erotic dick-biting club. And I’m stuck here ironing their fucking frills. ibid. female slave
Possibly even Christians – which is the last thing we need in this house. ibid.
The Procession of Shame. ibid. sentence passed on Nick
This is a bloody secret society, mate. ibid.
The job of a vampire sommelier is not an easy one. What We Do in the Shadows ***** pilot, Guillermo, BBC 2019
Yes, master. It’s time to – rise. ibid.
We have received a letter. ibid. house meeting with Nandor the Relentless
… curse of eternal life, and thus making me a bloodthirsty creature of the night. ibid. Laszlo re Nadja
The Baron is a firm believer that vampires should rule the world. ibid.
We should get a chariot led by twelve black alligators. ibid. Nadja
What about the Baron’s blood lust? ibid. Nandor
Energy vampires drain people’s energy merely by talking to them. We either bore you with a long conversation or we enrage you. In fact, you probably know an energy vampire. We are the most common kind of vampire. We are day-walkers not affected by the sun. ibid. Colin Robinson
There was a lot of prejudice against vampires at that time. ibid. Nadja
Yes, get me some glitter. Oh, I want to do something special for the Immortal One’s arrival. I’m going to sprinkle it on my face and on my body at twilight. Oh deliciously macabre – creepy paper, creepy paper, creepy – oh multi-pack. ibid. Nandor
Recently, I have been seeing another man. He doesn’t see me though … I think it is my reincarnated boyfriend Gregor … I should be preparing for the blood feast but I can’t seem to stay away from new Gregor. ibid.
It’s like they’re not even here. ibid. Laszlo to Baron, re presence of documentary cameras
Vampires love virgins. It’s their favourite food. What We Do in the Shadows s1e2: City Council ***** Guillermo
The Baron has charged us with the task of taking power over the New World. ibid. Nadja and Laszlo
The Baron’s familiar – she’s so creepy. ibid. Guillermo
We need a plan for total domination. ibid. Nandor
It’s a smorgasborg of banality and despair. ibid. Colin Robinson and gang at Staten Island Council evening session
Greetings, mortals. I will make this quick. I, Nandor the Relentless, Conqueror of thousands, Immortal warrior, who has twice turned the Euphrates itself red with blood, hereby demand complete and total subjugation of this governing body to my command! ibid.
I have recently rediscovered my love for topiary sculpture. The art of bush manipulation. What We Do in the Shadows s1e3: Werewolf Feud, Laszlo
Am I a morning person? That would be an enthusiastic yes. ibid. Colin Robinson
I’ve been all alone since mother died. Talk later? Really? ibid. Evie to Colin Robinson at work
There’s a bloody big werewolf on the lawn. ibid. Nadja
I think there’s something weird about Evie. ibid. Colin Robinson meets emotional vampire at work
Will you stop keep crying on my lawn, please. ibid. Nadja to werewolf gang
Laszlo with finger on map: We have total dominion from here to here.
Nandor: So that’s two streets … What We Do in the Shadows s1e4: Manhattan Night Club
We are going into the city tonight. We are going to party. And dance. And form a power alliance with the Manhattan vampires so that we can crush the humans. No offence. ibid. Nandor
Obviously, being in a marriage for centuries can get boring. And it is in these moments of dissatisfaction that I think about my human ex-lover: Gregor. Oh, he is the most fantastic of men … He has been reincarnated again, and in this life he is called [thinks hard and several attempts at ‘Jeff’] What We Do in the Shadows s1e5: Animal Control, Nadja
They’ve stolen Laszlo. ibid. Nandor
Gregor doesn’t know I’m not human. ibid. Nadja
The reawakened Gregor: Let’s make animalistic freaky sex right now.
Nadja: But somebody else needs me in a much less erotic way. But you know it is what it is. ibid.
Vampires have hidden amongst humans for millennia. There are some in the community that believe that vampires should rule the world. One such person is the Baron. And he has become a massive prick. What We Do in the Shadows s1e6: Baron’s Night Out, Laszlo
He [Baron] is as mad as a waxed banana. ibid.
We drank the blood of some people. But the people were on drugs. Now I’m a wizard. ibid. Nandor
We are gathered here tonight in our backyard to commemorate the second death of the Baron. What We Do in the Shadows s1e7: The Trial, Nandor
The vampiric council is a very ancient organisation. Very powerful and apparently very scary. ibid.
I was Jack the Ripper. I’ve never told anyone that before. ibid. Laszlo
I have given a strange girl the most beautiful gift – the gift of becoming a vampiric blood-sucking creature of the shadows. What We Do in the Shadows s1e8: Citizenship, Nadja
Thank you all for coming to this house meeting. ibid. Nandor
She is a below average vampire. ibid. Nadja
It seems that government workers are immune to hypnotism. ibid.
I didn’t pass … I’m like a little lost duck. ibid. Nandor fails citizenship test
I will rule this world for eternity. ibid. Nandor
Our home has been selected to host the bi-annual vampire orgy. What We Do in the Shadows s1e9: The Orgy
And absorbent towels. Lots of them. ibid. Nandor
And what about the virgins? Have you got any yet? ibid. Nadja to Familiar
My master is going to help me find a virgin. ibid. Familiar
I had your DNA tested. They tested it. What We Do in the Shadows s1e10: Ancestry, Familiar
Becoming a vampire came at a strange time in my life. ibid. Nandor
Yes, witches are semen-stealers. ibid. Nadja
So yes it’s been quite a summer. We finally got a new Familiar. But he had an accident and died. What We Do in the Shadows s2e1: Resurrection, Nadja, BBC 2020
That’s the tenth vampire I’ve killed this month. ibid. Guillermo
Nadja: Look at all those pale desperate wretches scurrying around in the moonlight.
Colin Robinson: It’s a performing arts school. ibid.
Firstly, and I’m not naming names, I have recently noticed that the house reeks of decaying flesh and there are dead birds everywhere. ibid. Nandor