Jesus had preached the coming kingdom of God. Now Jesus himself became the message, and the source of eternal life. From Jesus to Christ: The First Christians IV
A lot of people say to me, ‘Why did you kill Christ?’ I dunno. It was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know. Lenny Bruce
Indeed it could well be argued that the Sermon on the Mount had it been a government report should certainly not have been published. A most irresponsible document. All that stuff about the meek inheriting the Earth could do irreparable damage to the defence budget. Yes, Minister s2e4: The Greasy Pole, Sir Humphrey to Jim, BBC 1981
That a mysterious European society known as the Priory of Sion has for centuries guarded a momentous secret – that Jesus Christ married Mary Magdalene and their descendants are living in France. Bruce Burgess, Bloodline
When you look at the hidden messages encoded in paintings, in documents and even in churches across Europe, they do seem to tell a very different version of the Jesus story from the New Testament. ibid.
Back in 1979 the Priory’s Grandmaster, Pierre Plantard de St Clair, claimed that the early Merovingian kings of France had married the descendants of Jesus and Mary Magdalene creating a Saint Royal – a royal bloodline, the true Holy Grail. ibid.
What exactly the priest discovered under his church at the end of the nineteenth century is one of the great mysteries of south-west France. ibid.
The secret was that Jesus Christ had not died on the cross but was smuggled out of Jerusalem to Southern France along with Mary Magdalene and their children. ibid.
In recent years there have been a number of suspicious deaths connected to the Rennes-le-Chateau mystery. ibid.
I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic – on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg – or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to. C S Lewis, Mere Christianity
Jesus was a strange hobo who walked on water. Jack Kerouac, Lonesome Traveler
When Jesus comes back, these crazy, greedy, capitalistic men are gonna kill him again. Mike Tyson
I believe that I have received Jesus Christ into my heart. I believe that he has covered all of my sins. Billy Graham
Jesus was the first socialist, the first to seek a better life for mankind. Mikhail Gorbachev
I never saw a contradiction between the ideas that sustain me and the ideas of that symbol, of that extraordinary figure, Jesus Christ. Fidel Castro
If Jesus came back today, and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. Max von Sydow & Woody Allen et al
Somehow, I don't think Jesus came to Earth to ring the bell at the New York Stock Exchange. Michael Moore
I’m not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke. Jo Brand
The Christian Bible is a symbolic book, not a literal one. The one Christians know as Jesus was actually a symbol for the sun. Ancient sun worshippers believed the sun died at the end of the winter solstice and then three days later it would be reborn at the start of its cycle – December 25. David Icke
My story is the story of countless millions of children whose families and nations were torn apart for money in the name of Jesus Christ. Sinead O’Connor
The ‘divinity’ of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity. Nowhere in the Gospels do we find a precept for Creeds, Confessions, Oaths, Doctrines and whole carloads of other foolish trumpery that we find Christianity encumbered with.
The priesthood have, in all ancient nations, monopolized learning. And ever since the Reformation where or when has existed a Protestant or dissenting sect who would tolerate a free inquiry? ... The most ungentlemanly insolence, the most yahooish brutality, is patiently endured, countenanced, propagated, and applauded. But touch a solemn truth in collision with a dogma of a sect, though capable of the clearest proof, and you will soon find you have disturbed a nest, and the hornets will swarm about your eyes and hands, and fly into your face and eyes. John Adams
1He comes into the world God knows how, walks on the water, gets out of his grave and goes up off the Hill of Howth. What drivel is this? James Joyce, Stephen Hero ch21
‘If you don’t worship me you will burn forever’. I always thought that was ugly. Gore Vidal, cited Jonathan Miller 2005
At heart Christianity is a personality cult. Its core is the unprecedented idea that god became human not in a pharaoh, a king or even an emperor but in a humble peasant from Galilee. Professor Diarmaid MacCulloch, A History of Christianity, BBC 2009
Christianity originated in devout Judaism, and yet for Jews Christianity has all things considered been a calamity. Howard Jacobson, Christianity: A History: Jesus the Jew, Channel 4 2009
And there for Jews is the nub of it: how could Jesus be the messiah if he fulfilled none of the Old Testament prophecies? ibid.
Jesus never once expressed the intention of starting a new religion. ibid.
It was Paul who transformed Jesus the Jew into Jesus the Christ. bid.
Jesus is not the English equivalent or English translation of the messiah’s true name. The Christian Deception
I believe that Christianity’s basis is a personal relationship to Jesus Christ, rather than relationship to churches. Dr Ian Paisley
Jesus did not fade away thanks to a small band of Jews who held fast to their conviction that Jesus is the true messiah. Peter & Paul and the Christian Revolution I, PBS 2003
I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ. Mahatma Gandhi
The trouble with our Lord was that he didn’t have a smart slick lawyer. Bloody Mama 1970 starring Shelley Winters & Lisa Jill & Robert Walden & Alex Nicol & Robert De Niro & Pat Hingle & Don Stroud & Diane Varsi & Bruce Dern & Clint Kimbrough et al, director Roger Corman
I am not a follower of the meek and lowly Jesus. The Spikes Gang 1974 starring Ron Howard & Lee Marvin & Gary Grimes & Charlie Martin Smith & Arthur Hunnicutt & Noah Beery & Marc Smith & Don Fellows & Susan Coyne et al, director Richard Fleischer, Marvin
’Cause Jesus had a proper job. He was a carpenter, Jesus, wasn’t he? Yeah, and you can tell he was a craftsman, can’t you, ’cause he disappeared off the face of the Earth for three days without a rational explanation. Al Murray: The Pub Landlord: My Gaff, My Rules, London’s Playhouse Theatre
Jesus Christ ... ’cause he was British obviously. ibid.
He drew the line at cab drivers. ibid.
If it was my last day on Earth I think what I’d do is erm I’d shut just after lunch. ibid.
Jesus – it’s a matter of indifference. Another 50 Renowned Academics Speaking About God, Professor Robert Price
His life is still shrouded in mystery, full of bizarre events and unanswered questions. The Jesus Mysteries, National Geographic 2014
Over the centuries the keeper of the Nativity has been plastered over with layers of romance and sentimentality. ibid.
This scrap of papyrus, no bigger than a credit card, might just be the find of the century. It appears to be an early Christian scripture – it suggests that Jesus was married. If it is genuine, it's a direct challenge to two thousand years of Christian tradition. Treasures Decoded: Jesus’s Wife, History 2013
The birth of the Saviour was as natural as are the births of our children; it was the result of natural action. He partook of flesh and blood – was begotten of his Father, as we were of our fathers. Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses VIII:115
There is only one Jesus Christ; the rest is dispute over trifles. Elizabeth I