In defeat unbeatable: in victory unbearable. Winston Churchill, re Lord Montgomery
Like a graceful cat walking delicately and unsoiled across a rather muddy street. Winston Churchill, re Balfour’s moving from Asquith’s cabinet to that of Lloyd George
A sheep in sheep’s clothing. Winston Churchill re Clement Attlee, various attributions inc Edmund Gosse re Sturge Moore
The only recorded instance in history of a rat swimming towards a sinking ship. Winston Churchill, re former Conservative who proposed to stand as Liberal
A Jew-ridden half-American drunkard. Adolf Hitler, re Winston Churchill
The 100% American is 99% idiot. George Bernard Shaw
I looked at him across the dining table and then I knew that what they say was true: that pigs eat the flesh of their own. Adolf Hitler vegetarian re the hunting carnivore Goering
The Famine Queen. Maud Gonne MacBride, Irish nationalist & actor, re Queen Victoria
A first-rate second-rate man. Wendell Phillips, re Abraham Lincoln
He sickened at all triumphs but his own. Charles Churchill, 1731-64, English poet, The Rosclad, re Thomas Franklin, professor of Greek at Cambridge University
To mischief trained, e’en from his mother’s womb,
Grown old in fraud, tho’ yet in manhood’s bloom.
Adopting arts, by which gay villains rise,
And reach the heights, which honest men despise;
Mute at the bar, and in the senate loud,
Dull ’mongst the dullest, proudest of the proud;
A pert, prim prate of the northern race,
Guilt in his heart, and famine in his face. ibid. re Alexander Wedderburn
Learned without sense, and venerably dull. ibid. re Arthur Murphy
Where he falls short, ’tis Nature’s fault alone;
Where he succeeds, the merit’s all his own. ibid. re actor Thomas Sheridan
Why, sir, sherry is dull, naturally dull; but it must have taken him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him. Such an excess of stupidity, sir, is not in Nature. Samuel Johnson, re Thomas Sheridan
Why, sir, if you were to read Richardson for the story, your impatience would be so much fretted that you would hang yourself. Samuel Johnson
He was dull in a new way, and that made many people think him great. Samuel Johnson, re Thomas Gray
They teach the morals of a whore, and the manners of a dancing master. Samuel Johnson, re Lord Chesterfield’s letters
Why, that is, because, dearest, you’re a dunce. Samuel Johnson to Miss Monckton who said that Sterne’s writings affected her
Madam, before you flatter a man so grossly to his face, you should consider whether or not your flattery is worth his having. Samuel Johnson, to Hannah More
Of all the griefs that harass the distressed,
Sure the most bitter is a scornful jest;
Fate never wounds more deep the gen’rous heart,
Than when a blockhead’s insult points the dart. Samuel Johnson, London, 1738
I hate a fellow whom pride, or cowardice, or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he gets there but sit and growl; let him come out as I do, and bark. Samuel Johnson, re Jeremiah Markland
The Cabbage Patch Kid. Brian Gerrish, re David Cameron
He’s a fucking prick. Freddie Flintoff, re Michael Atherton
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. Mae West, re villain of film, cited New York Herald Tribune 1934
Burke … is not affected by the reality of distress touching his heart, but by the showy resemblance of it striking his imagination. He pities the plumage, but forgets the dying bird. Thomas Paine, re Edmund Burke’s reflections on French Revolution
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses. Elizabeth Taylor
The man’s ears make him look like a taxi-cab with both doors open. Howard Hughes junior, re Clark Gable
That piece of Hollywood shit with Billy Wilder [Buddy Buddy] is over, thank God. No outsider can imagine the stupidity, blustering hysteria, authoritarianism, and paralyzing boredom of shooting a flick for Billy Wilder. The so-called ‘actors’ are simply trained poodles who sit up on their hind legs and jump through hoops. I thought the insanity would never stop. But I got a shitload of money. Klaus Kinski, Kinski Uncut: The Autobiography of Klaus Kinski p299
He has no enemies but is intensely disliked by his friends. Oscar Wilde, re George Bernard Shaw
A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults. Louis Nizer
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. Anonymous, attributions inc Jill Shalvis
He had a mind so fine that no idea could violate it. T S Eliot, re Henry James
He had delusions of adequacy. Walter Kerr, re Harold Hobson
I’m thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I’m wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it ... No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out. Is this wron? Glenn Beck, responding to question ‘What would people do for $50 million?’ The Glenn Beck Program May 17 2005
The stinking king of the race lords. Glenn Beck, re Jesse Jackson
He has the lucidity which is the by-product of a fundamentally sterile mind. Aneurin Bevan, re Neville Chamberlain
I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary ... If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present. Aneurin Bevan, 1897-1960, British Labour Politician, during debate on Suez crisis House of Commons 16th May 1957
Listening to a speech by Chamberlain is like paying a visit to Woolworth’s: everything in its place and nothing above sixpence. Aneurin Bevan
He has turned almost alarmingly blond – he’s gone past platinum, he must be plutonium; his hair is coordinated with his teeth. Pauline Kael, re Robert Redford
I think it is in our interest to punish the first insult; because an insult unpunished is the parent of many others. Thomas Jefferson to John Jay 1785
He was born stupid, and greatly increased his birthright. Samuel Butler, The Way of All Flesh
Poor George, he can’t help it – he was born with a silver foot in his mouth. Ann Richards, 1988 Democratic Convention, re George H W Bush
He was happily married – but his wife wasn't. Victor Borge, re Mozart
He was so crooked, you could have used his spine for a safety-pin. Dorothy L Sayers, The Nine Taylors
He’s a full-fledged housewife from Kansas with all the prejudices. Gore Vidal, re Truman Capote
Avoid all needle drugs. The only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon. Abbie Hoffman
I’ll bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork. Groucho Marx, At the Circus, 1939
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. Groucho Marx