I say nothing of the moral difficulties and perversions involved in revelation itself; though even in the Christianity of the Gospels, at least in its ordinary interpretation, there are some that are so flagrant that they almost outweigh all the beauty and benignity and moral greatness that so clearly distinguish the sayings and character of Christ ... Is there any moral atrocity that couldn't be justified by the imitation of such a Deity? And could we possibly adore such a being without frightfully distorting the standard of right and wrong? Any other of the outrages to the most ordinary justice and humanity involved in the common Christian idea of God’s moral character sinks into insignificance beside this dreadful Hell-focused idealization of wickedness. John Stuart Mill, The Usefulness of Religion, 1874
The way to get people back to the Church is to tell them they’re going to burn in Hell for eternity if they use contraceptives. Spitting Image s1e1, Pope, ITV 1984
Heaven, Hell and everlasting life – you’re not meant to take it seriously, Ted. Father Ted: Good Luck, Father Ted s1e1, Dougal, Channel 4 1995
When God is angry where does he feel about sending us? Boardwalk Empire: The Age of Reasons 2e6, Priest to Nucky’s child, HBO 2011
A lot of people ask me, What are you going to say when you meet your Maker? I have to be honest and say, There’s no danger of that happening. I’ve already been booked up. I’ve got the chief stoker’s job down below. ‘Mad’ Frankie Fraser
What’s the difference between you and me is you’re going to hell when you die. The Sopranos s1e1 starring James Gandolfini & Lorriane Bracco & Edie Falco & Michael Imperioli & Dominic Chianese & Steven van Zandt & Tony Sirico & Robert Iler et al, Carmela to Tony, HBO 1999
I’m going to Hell, T. I crossed over to the other side: I saw a tunnel and a white light. I saw my father in Hell. The Sopranos s2e9: From Where to Eternity, Chris’s NDE
Don’t worry. I’m going to Hell when I die. The Sopranos s4e13: Whitecaps, Tony to Carmela
You are not going to Hell. You are coming back here. The Sopranos s6e2: Join the Club, Carmela to Tony
I’m gonna burn like the rest I guess. We’re all going to hell. The Wild & Wonderful Whites of West Virginia, female
You think you’re going to Heaven because you’re honest. But you’re not. You’re going to the same Hell as the crooked cops you can’t stand. American Gangster 2007 ***** starring Denzel Washington & Russell Crowe & Chiwetel Ejiofor & Cuba Gooding jr & Josh Brolin & Ted Levine & Armand Assante & Yul Vazqez & Ruby Dee et al, director Ridley Scott, ex-wife to Crowe
Continuous Hell encompasses three components: Uninterrupted Time. Uninterrupted Space. Boundless suffering. Infernal Affairs II 2003 starring Anthony Wong & Eric Tsang & Carina Lau & Francis Ng & Edison Chen & Shawn Yeu & Hu Jun & Joe Cheung & Arthur Wong & Teddy Chan et al, directors Andrew Lau & Alan Mak
When we have undeniable proof, incontrovertible evidence that Hell exists. I know. I know, my friends. I have been informed in visions that there is a place darker than any prison, hotter than any flame of human fire, where souls of unrepentant criminal sinners like yourselves – don’t you laugh, damn you, don’t you laugh. I say like yourselves. Scream in endless and unincurable agony. Your skin rotting and peeling. A fireball spinning in the screaming guts. I know. A Clockwork Orange 1971 starring Malcolm McDowell & Patrick Magee & Michael Bates & Warren Clarke & John Clive & Adrienne Corri & Carl Duering & Paul Farrell & Clive Francis & Michael Gover et al, director Stanley Kubrick, Prison padre
Your soul is required in hell. New Jack City 1991 starring Wesley Snipes & Ice-T & Judd Nelson & Allen Paynes & Chris Rock & Bill Nunn & Russell Wong & Bill Cobbs & Christopher Williams et al, director Mario van Peebles, grandad shoots Nino
You’re in Hell. And you’re going to die in Hell. Taxi Driver 1976 starring Robert De Niro & Jodie Foster & Harvey Keitel & Cybill Shepherd & Albert Brooks & Leonard Harris & Peter Boyle & Harry Northup & Martin Scorsese & Victor Argo et al, director Martin Scorsese, him to her
Prison. Death. It’s didn’t matter. ’Cause at least in prison and at least in death, you know, I wouldn’t be in fucking Bruges ... Maybe that’s what Hell is – the entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges. In Bruges 2008 starring Colin Farrell & Brendan Gleeson & Elizabeth Berrington & Ralph Fiennes & Clemence Poesy & Jordan Prentice & Thekla Reuten & Jeremie Renier & Anna Madeley et al, director Martin McDonagh, Ray
You cannot deny the existence of Hell. You live in it. The American 2010 starring George Clooney & Violante Placido & Thekla Reuten & Paolo Bonacelli & Irina Bjorklund & Johan Leysen, director Anton Corbijn
If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons. Winston Churchill, to personal secretary eve of Operation Barbarossa
If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell. Philip Henry Sheridan
May your filthy soul be prepared for hell, my son. Yes, hell. Where Satan belches fire and enormous devils break wind both night and day. Your mind is never free from the torments of remorse. And your bottom never free from the prickling of little thorns. Hell – where the softest bits of your nether regions are everybody’s else’s favourite lunch. The Black Adder: The Archbishop, Bishop of London, BBC 1983
What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love. Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
The Devil himself had probably redesigned Hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts. Anthony Price, The Memory Trap, 1989
I am the god of hell fire – and I bring you – Fire! Crazy World of Arthur Brown, Fire!
If I am unable to make the gods above relent, I shall move Hell. Virgil, Aeneid
Easy is the way down to the Underworld: by night and by day dark Hades’ door stands open; but to retrace one’s steps and to make a way out to the upper air, that’s the task, that is the labour. ibid.
Darkling they went under the lonely night through the shadow and through the empty dwellings and unsubstantial realms of Hades. ibid.
Before the very forecourt and in the opening of the jaws of hell Grief and avenging Cares have placed their beds, and wan Diseases and sad Old Age live there, and Fear and Hunger that urges to wrongdoing, and shaming Destitution, figures terrible to see, and Death and Toil. ibid.
Then I saw there was a way to Hell, even from the gates of Heaven. John Bunyan, The Pilgrim’s Progress
Hell has no terror for me. I have lived there. Thirty-six years of hunger and poverty have been my portion. They cannot terrify me with hell. Better to be in hell with Dante and Davitt than to be in heaven with Carson and Murphy. James Larkin, during 1913 Dublin lockout labour dispute
It’s quiet in Hell just now, it’s very tame,
The devils and the damned alike lie snoring.
Just a faint smell of sulphur, not much flame;
The human souls come here and find it boring.
Satan, the poor old Puritan, sits there
Emitting mocking laughter once a minute;
Idly he scans a page of Baudelaire
And wonders how he once saw evil in it.
He sips his brimstone at the Demons’ Club
(His one amusement now he’s superseded)
And keeps complaining to Beelzebub
That men make hotter hells than ever he did. R P Lister, Lament of an Idle Dream
Hell is full of musical amateurs: music is the brandy of the damned. George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman
Hell, in short is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse yourself. George Bernard Shaw
Those who believe in hell can never know truth, for they are blinded by fear. Emmet F Fields
Heaven and Hell suppose two distinct species of men, the good and the bad. But the greatest part of mankind float betwixt vice and virtue. David Hume
What is hell?
Hell is oneself,
Hell is alone, the other figures in it
Merely projections. There is nothing to escape from
And nothing to escape to. One is always alone. T S Eliot 1888-1965, The Cocktail Party, 1950