★ Grief

If you’ve got to my age, you’ve probably had your heart broken many times. So it’s not that difficult to unpack a bit of grief from some little corner of your heart and cry over it. Emma Thompson

Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength. Ovid

Tearless grief bleeds inwardly. Christian Nevell Bovee

Let the tears which fell, and the broken words which were exchanged in the long close embrace between the orphans, be sacred. A father, sister, and mother, were gained, and lost, in that one moment. Joy and grief were mingled in the cup; but there were no bitter tears: for even grief arose so softened, and clothed in such sweet and tender recollections, that it became a solemn pleasure, and lost all character of pain. Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist

Tears are the silent language of grief. Voltaire

Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature’s way of letting in only as much as we can handle. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Initially, there is a sense of profound shock and disbelief that this could never happen to you. Real grief often does not hit home until much later. For many it is a grief never entirely lost. Life is altered as you know it, and not a day goes past without you thinking about the one you have lost. However, I also know that over time it is possible to learn to live with what has happened and, with the passing of years, to retain or rediscover cherished memories. Prince William

I need not describe the feelings of those whose dearest ties are rent by that most irreparable evil, the void that presents itself to the soul, and the despair that is exhibited on the countenance. It is so long before the mind can persuade itself that she whom we saw every day and whose very existence appeared a part of our own can have departed forever – that the brightness of a beloved eye can have been extinguished and the sound of a voice so familiar and dear to the ear can be hushed, never more to be heard. These are the reflections of the first days; but when the lapse of time proves the reality of the evil, then the actual bitterness of grief commences. Yet from whom has not that rude hand rent away some dear connection? And why should I describe a sorrow which all have felt, and must feel? The time at length arrives when grief is rather an indulgence than a necessity; and the smile that plays upon the lips, although it may be deemed a sacrilege, is not banished. My mother was dead, but we had still duties which we ought to perform; we must continue our course with the rest and learn to think ourselves fortunate whilst one remains whom the spoiler has not seized. Mary Shelley, Frankenstein

You must marry again after a decent interval of mourning … oh a fortnight would be long enough to indicate your grief – you must keep abreast of the times. Loot 1970 starring Richard Attenborough & Lee Remick & Hywel Bennett & Milo O’Shea & Roy Holder & Dick Emery & Joe Lynch & John Cater & Aubrey Woods & Harold Innocent et al, director Silvio Narizzano

I’ll be in my office in case anyone wants to drop by and cheer me up. The Office US s3e4: Grief, NBC 2003

‘All you think about is what can I do to make the best life, the best environment for my kids and my wife.’ Rio Ferdinand: Being Mum and Dad, BBC 2017

‘I had an unbelievable life: an amazing wife, great kids, and then bang! The moment Becky was dying from cancer that all changed.’ ibid.

Rebecca Ferdinand was first treated for breast cancer in 2013. The cancer returned in March 2015. ibid.

‘It’s more like a sudden bereavement from a terrible accident.’ ibid. Professor Stephen Johnson, oncologist

Men in the UK are half as likely to seek help through counselling than women. ibid.

Around 75 men under 50 are widowed in the UK every day. ibid.

‘The moment Rebecca passed away almost immediately you’re given leaflets and bereavement counselling and stuff but at that moment it’s all a blur; the last thing you’re thinking about is reaching out to speak to someone.’ ibid. Rio

‘How can you grieve for someone you’ve never met, you don’t know? It’s presumptuous and it is I think offensive.’ Christopher Hitchens, Diana: The Mourning After, Brendon Martin, 1998

‘It was like Disney meets the blackshirts – you must cry.’ ibid. Mark Thomas

It’s still quite difficult to believe what was happening on this very spot this time last year: the surreal events of Diana week. ibid. Hitchens

There were elements of mob-feeling as well as elements of demagoguery in play. ibid.

What about those who were attracted to mass events? ibid.

It becomes evident that that famous throng of mourners was by no means as unanimous or as monolithic as its media cheerleader would have you – perhaps I should say us – believe. And, come to think of it, why did so many people from day one decide to deliver their posies and bouquets and teddy bears to the wrong address – to Buckingham Palace? ibid.

Where was I when I heard the ghastly news? Who cares? ibid.

The fairytale princess had left exactly nothing to charity in her will. ibid.

Just grief painting pictures in her brain. Side Effects 2013 starring Jude Law & Rooney Mara & Catherine Zeta-Jones & Channing Tatum & Vinessa Shaw & Ann Dowd & Polly Draper & David Costible & Mamie Gummer & Scott Shepherd et al, director Steven Soderbergh

There’s nothing rational about grief. Maybe you’re crying for yourself. Secrets & Lies ***** 1996 starring Marianne Jean-Baptiste & Brenda Blethyn & Timothy Spall & Phyllis Logan & Claire Rushbrook & Elizabeth Berrington & Michele Austin & Lee Ross & Lesley Manville & Ron Cook et al, director Mike Leigh, Hortense

Colin Robinson is no longer with us. Vampires are no strangers to death. They deal with that every day with the people that they kill but when they lose one of their own they still have to deal with it. The only funeral-type tradition is that they get a new portrait made with all of them except for the newly deceased. What We Do in the Shadows s3e10: The Portrait, Guillermo